


Wings

by thatoneinsecurenerd



Series: Wings [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Adoption, Alternate Universe - Human, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Dadceit AU, Deceit and Logan are lawyers and Patton is a secretary at the law firm, Deceit and Patton adopt Virgil Remus and Roman, Dialogue Heavy, Divorce, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fighting, Heavy Angst, M/M, Medication, Minor Violence, Post-Divorce, Remy/Emile is mentioned like twice, Sex Mentions, Strong Language, Swearing, Unsympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Unsympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, just like "he wants to have sex with you" a few dozen times, one chapter of text fic format, seriously the word "fuck" probably appears ten times in the first chapter alone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:15:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 34,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22174666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatoneinsecurenerd/pseuds/thatoneinsecurenerd
Summary: "You can’t keep [him] in a cage,clip [his] wings, tell [him] lies,say that fragile birdswere never meant to fly.Watch [him] live behinda rusted door, latched tight,[his] spirit slipping awayso you can keep [him] in sight.Beautiful creaturescannot be confined.[His] wings will grow,[he'll] find the sky."-Christy Ann MartineInspired by https://thatoneinsecurenerd.tumblr.com/post/189850487523/sanders-sides-patton-and-dadceit-humanau
Relationships: Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Series: Wings [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1727896
Comments: 12
Kudos: 79





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The Sanders Sides (and Remy and Emile) belong to Thomas Sanders. This work is for fun, not for profit. 
> 
> This fic is unbeta’d, all mistakes are my own. 
> 
> Please be wary of the tags! Emotional abuse is heavily present in this fic. 
> 
> Deceit’s name is Ethan in this fic.
> 
> If you think I should’ve tagged something, let me know and I will

Patton Sanders and Ethan Sanders (née Lee) met one summer while Ethan was in college. The two men were the same age, but Patton had skipped college to become a secretary for a law firm in his home town. Ethan attended college in this town, working towards a degree in law, and the summer the two men met, he was an unpaid intern for one of the attorneys employed for the firm. He was pretty much a glorified secretary, often tasked with fetching documents from Patton about new clients or organizing the lawyer’s appointments, sometimes even grabbing a coffee for the lawyer.

The two men’s friendship began after a disaster in which Ethan had been sent to fetch a coffee from the coffeeshop on the corner then a collection of important documents from Patton. He’d tripped on the raised doorframe that led to the stairwell of the law firm (which would lead him to the lawyer’s office), both coffee and papers in hand. Patton was quick to rush over and check that he was alright. And Ethan was fine. It was the papers that had suffered. The coffee had spilled all over them. The coffee was easily replaceable, but the papers, Ethan believed, were not.

“Don’t worry about it,” Patton told the panicked, rambling man as he grabbed his hand and helped him stand up. “I’ll call the janitor to clean the spill, then you and I can go make copies.”

“Copies?” Ethan asked. He would deny that there were tears in his eyes, worried as he was about getting fired for a simple mistake and leaving a nasty mark of himself in the attorney community. Patton nodded, a smile on his face. He still held Ethan’s hand, and he used it to lead Ethan to his desk.

Patton let go of Ethan’s hand to dial a number on the telephone and put it to his ear. “There’s been a coffee spill by the Southern stairwell, if you wouldn’t mind sending someone to come clean it before it stains,” Patton said, his voice simultaneously kind and leaving no room for argument. “I’ve got other business to attend to. Thank you.” After he hung up, he looked at Deceit. “Would you like me to order the coffee for you, as well? I can get it delivered.”

“I’m sure my employer would like me to go back and get it myself.”

“He’ll never know this happened, Kiddo.” The affectionate nickname slipped out of Patton’s mouth. It often happened with people he was trying to console, no matter their age in relation to his.

“Kiddo?”

“Well, I don’t know your name.”

“It’s Ethan. My friends call me Dee. You can call me Ethan.” Patton was a little taken aback by the introduction. He nodded, giving his brain the second it needed to catch up. It never occurred to him ask where his friends got “Dee.”

“So you’re going to walk all the way back to the coffeeshop on the corner then walk all the way back here again?”

“How do you know I don’t drive there?”

“I get here at six in the morning every day, Ethan. I’ve seen your... whoever... drop you off at eight a.m. since you’ve started your internship here. Let me call the coffeeshop for you. One of the employees there just so happens to owe me a favor.” Ethan begrudgingly accepted the offer, nodding his head. Patton picked up the phone again, putting it to his ear.

“Hey,” Patton said, as if he were friends with all the workers at the coffeeshop. “Is Remy working today? Of course.” A pause as Remy must have been being delivered the phone. “Hey. Remember that favor you owe me? You're going to think this is a stupid thing for me to waste it on, but I need you to drop by a...” Patton looked at Ethan, brow raised, silently asking for the order. Ethan grabbed a pen and a sticky note from Patton’s desk and wrote it down, before handing the note to Patton and putting the pen back in its place. “...Venti iced matcha macchiato, half-caf, with skim milk, extra whipped cream, and three shots of espresso. No, not for me. Not a client. Remy, you don’t need to keep guessing. I can pay you for the coffee when you get here. It’s for a friend in need.” Ethan shot Patton a look. Patton shrugged his shoulders, as if he didn’t care that Ethan might not consider them friends after this. “The favor is you bringing it over here. I can’t imagine your boss will be very happy with you walking out the door before your break otherwise. Fine. Thank you, Remy.” Patton hung up the phone with a sigh.

Remy had agreed to walk it over out of the kindness of his heart – not letting Patton waste his favor – but that wasn’t as good as it seemed. Patton knew this was Remy wanting to meet his new friend. Patton made friends quickly, considering them friends when they’d helped each other out.

Patton hadn’t helped out Remy, but had helped out his husband Emile. Patton and Emile considered each other friends after that, and the enthusiastic honey-haired man had grown on Remy, over time, as well. Patton had helped Remy later on in their friendship, and this was what led to the favor Remy still owed him.

“Come with me,” Patton told Ethan after grabbing a file from a filing cabinet behind his desk. The two men walked into the copy room, which was only a few feet from the Patton’s secretary desk and the entrance of the building. “Shred that while I do this, please?”

“But this is...” Ethan responded, looking down at the important file then back up at Patton and the file he held. “This is a copy.” It wasn’t a question. The realization had struck him.

“We keep the original copies on record. Attorneys merely get copies.” Ethan began shredding the papers in the file as Patton made a new set of copies.

“Pat?” a voice called into the entryway of the building, right as Ethan was slipping the new copies into the file. Patton exited the room and Ethan followed. “There you are.” The owner of the voice was a man who held a green coffee in a clear cup and wore sunglasses over his eyes even though he was in the building now. “This must be the friend.” The man, who Ethan realized was Remy, looked over his fedora, the burn scar on the left side of his face that he didn’t bother hiding anymore, and his yellow rainboots (though it wasn’t raining that day). “You have weird taste in coffee.” There may have been an implied “And clothes.”

“It’s not for me,” Ethan responded. “It’s for my boss. I spilled the first one like a klutz.” Remy held out the coffee and Ethan took it with a “Thank you. Your friend is kind.”

“He’s your friend now, too, honey.”

“I didn’t agree to this.”

“You don’t have a choice. It’s just how Pat is. You’re still coming over for dinner tonight?” The question was directed at Pat, and Ethan took it as his cue to get back to work. He noticed Patton wave – but he didn’t return it – before the man answered the question.

***

From that moment on, Patton had waved at Ethan when he arrived at the law firm each morning. Eventually, Patton engaged in conversation with him and broke down that tough guy exterior. After that summer, they kept in contact. Patton helped Ethan get an internship with a less surly attorney the following summer. The men’s friendship grew stronger, and they were dating by the time Ethan graduated college. They continued dating through the time Ethan attended law school then graduated and was applying for an actual job at the very law firm where everything started. After Ethan got that job (with a little help from Patton, of course), Ethan popped the question. The big one. The “Will you marry me?” question. And of course, Patton said yes.

The two moved into Patton’s apartment, and Patton gave Ethan a ride to work each morning. (The fire that had burned Ethan’s face had also burned his eye, leaving him half blind, so even though he knew how to drive at this point, he didn’t if he could help it. The story of the fire was one that took years for him to finally tell Patton.)

Like every other marriage, they started out blindingly in love and happy. When Patton became friends with Logan through Logan’s job also as an attorney at the law firm, Ethan became jealous. He didn’t tell Patton, but Patton could sense something was off, and this began a shift in their relationship. And Logan, observant to everything, noticed everything going on between the “happy” couple.

Logan noticed a shift in Ethan’s behavior from when Logan had simply been Ethan’s coworker, when they only occasionally ran into each other, to when Patton dubbed Logan his friend, began the attempts to earn the same sentiments from Logan, and when they did become friends and he had been invited over for dinners at the Sanders’ apartment. But he didn’t say anything at the start. Because it simply wasn’t his place.

He watched as the couple applied and got accepted for adoption. He met the men’s first son, Virgil, a six-year-old boy who had come from an abusive household. He was very skittish, very quiet, and prone to panic attacks. Logan tried his best to help when he was needed, because it became clear to him that Ethan (Deceit, as Logan began mentally calling him) was a shifty politician. A pathological liar except in a court of law, wherein he was under oath to tell the truth. A man who used his reputation as a loving husband to a gay man, a family man, and an excellent lawyer to earn himself a higher position in the city’s judicial system. But still, Logan didn’t say anything. He didn’t dare break up the family, not so soon after their young son’s introduction.

A couple years later, he still hadn’t said anything. He had hoped Patton would have noticed by now. He should have figured Patton only saw the best in people, was blind to all their flaws. He shouldn’t have been surprised when the couple was introducing two more sons to their family. Twin boys, five years old, Remus and Roman. The former twin was rambunctious and could be a bit rash. The latter twin was also rambunctious (Logan figured that must be a normal child thing, as he didn’t have a significant other or children of his own) but he was more sensitive. He took things a little more to heart, but he could also pick up on the negativity radiating off of others.

Logan watched “Deceit” rise from a simple attorney to an attorney trusted with bigger cases to a judge in the municipal court. He desperately wanted Patton to notice on his own. He wanted to say something. This had gone on for years and years, and Logan imagined that “Deceit” might only add more children to their growing family if he didn’t step in. So one night, when he was helping Patton watch all three kids while Ethan was serving as a judge for a criminal case, he brought it up after they’d put the children to bed.

Patton didn’t believe him. He asked why Logan thought he had the audacity to badmouth his husband, to interfere in their happy lives.

“Didn’t you notice how De- _Ethan_ has obtained a high position in the municipal judicial system?” Logan asked to try to defend himself.

“He’s worked hard and he’s earned it,” Patton retorted.

“According to what I’ve heard, you’ve given him every opportunity. You’re the one who continued to allow him to be hired as an intern, you’re the one who got him his job at the firm. I know you’re friends with many people, especially in the judiciary world. You could have called in a few favors for him, letting him think he earned these promotions.”

“He works hard. I only helped him out in the beginning. He’s done the rest on his own.”

“He’s used your marriage and your family as a testament to his good character.”

“As he has every right to. He’s a wonderful husband.”

“Then where is he now?”

“He’s working, to earn money to keep his family alive.”

“This late at night?” It was about eleven. “I’ve never had a case run this long. He may be a judge, but the lawyers don’t just get to leave while the judge and jury come up with their decision.”

“What are you accusing my husband of, Logan?” Patton’s kind tone had taken on a bitter edge at this point.

“He’s a liar. He’s used you and your family as a testament to his good character, and that’s all. He doesn’t care about you all or else he would be here.”

“He can’t control the cases he presides over or how long they take.”

“But he can control letting you know, when they go to recess, that he’ll be home late. This is the fifth time this _month_ , Patton, and it’s only the seventeenth.”

“So what? You think he’s cheating on me? That’s he straight and he’s hooking up with the pretty lady who transcribes the hearings?”

“I don’t have any opinions as to what he’s doing, only that he’s a shitty husband and a liar and user, and you should divorce him.”

“And what right do you have to demand this of me? What makes you think you know my marriage better than I do?”

“You like to see the best in people, Patton. I don’t have that problem. I see everyone and everything through a logical and nonpartisan lens.”

“You’ve never liked him.”

“ _He’s_ never liked _me_. Not since the moment you and I became friends. He was probably worried I’d see through him, and I do. I wish I could help you see it, too.”

“We’re not going to keep talking about this. I won’t let you vilify my husband.”

“I’ll write you a series of essays if I have to, Patton. Don’t think I won’t."

“I said we’re not talking about this. Go home, Logan. I hope the kids haven’t heard what you’ve said about their father.”

“They should know the kind of man their father is.”

“I said _enough_ , Logan!” There were tears in Patton’s eyes. He was never an angry person. He always tried to avoid conflict. He hated negativity. But here he was. “Go home.” He sounded defeated, the tears choking back his voice.

“You’ll see in time,” Logan said, standing in the doorway of the apartment. “I'll make sure you do.” Logan stepped out of the apartment and closed the door behind him. Patton sobbed quietly, trying not to wake his sons. And when Ethan got home that night, he found Patton curled up on the couch, sleeping, face red and streaked with dried tears. He never asked what was wrong.

***

Over the next few months, Ethan’s later cases were much more frequent. Patton only saw his husband when they woke up next to each other, he drove them both to work, and delivered whatever his husband called down and said he needed for his next case. They didn’t speak much, and when they did, their exchanges were ones colleagues might have, not husbands.

Logan wrote Patton a few essays and though Patton refused to at first, he eventually read them all one night when Ethan was out late again and Logan was out of town due to a family emergency. He’d put the kids to bed, and though he and Ethan hadn’t been talking much lately because of their schedules and his talks with Logan were all about how Patton should leave Ethan and Patton hated having this discussion, that night was the first night he felt alone. He didn’t feel the love of a doting husband or a concerned friend or innocent children. He felt miserable and alone.

So he read the essays, figuring that, since he was already in a bad mood, he might as well put himself in a worse one. Immediately after, he called Logan, tears in his eyes. “I read your essays,” he said immediately, before Logan could get a word in.

“I’ll be right over,” Logan responded, though it was midnight and Patton had woken him up. Not to mention he was an hour and a half away.

“What if Dee gets home?”

“Do you really think he will?”

“Where else would he go? He lives here. His kids are here. Even if he doesn’t actually love me, he can’t possibly not love these kids. They’re angels. They’ve done nothing wrong.

“Neither have you, Pat. You don’t deserve any of this.”

“Well, it’s happened.” He could hear noises in the background. “Are you seriously coming over here? What about your family? I thought-”

“Everyone is asleep. I think they’ll be fine if I’m gone for a few hours.”

“But you said your dad-”

“He’s still in the hospital. It’ll be okay for me to leave. Let me come comfort you.”

“Why didn’t I realize it sooner?” Patton could hear Logan getting in his car, then hear as Logan set his phone in his phone holder so they could continue the call while he drove.

“You like to see the best in people, and Ethan had you wrapped right around his finger. You were never meant to realize it.”

“But you did.”

“Because Deceit’s a dick.”

“Deceit?”

“My personal nickname for him.”

“Because he’s been lying to me for years.”

“Yes.”

“Even before Virgil?”

“At least about how he felt about me.”

“He’s allowed to tell me he’s jealous. Why didn’t he tell me?”

“He wanted to keep you content, so you would never realize the devil he truly was.”

Patton and Logan’s discussion continued the whole hour and forty-five minutes it took Logan to drive from his parents’ home to Patton’s apartment. The extra fifteen minutes was because Logan asked Patton if he wanted ice cream, and of course, he said yes (along with asking for a couple cookies (he deserved them for the miserable night he’d had)), so Logan stopped by a McDonalds on the way.

Ethan still wasn’t home when Logan arrived at almost two o’clock. Logan didn’t ring the bell, knowing that the kids were sleeping and sure that Patton was watching him through the window. He didn’t raise his hand to knock – not like he would’ve had the chance with Patton opening the door and hugging him tight.

Logan wasn’t an affectionate person, but for Patton’s sake, he would be. He hugged Patton back, then pulled away to step inside, close the door behind him, and guide Patton to the couch.

“He’s still not home,” Patton told Logan, tears streaming down his cheeks. “It’s two o’clock in the morning and he’s still out. No court case can possibly run this long. You don’t think he has a separate apartment, do you?” Patton’s voice filled with insecurity. “He could afford it, I know it. And he would make sure I never knew, just like with everything else.”

“You need to talk to him when he comes home,” Logan responded. He tried to put a little sympathy in his voice, but he couldn’t help but convey the fact that what he spoke was a fact.

“I don’t know if he ever will.”

“He will. You’re his ride to work, aren’t you?”

“Yes.” Patton had a revelation. “He doesn’t drive. How does he go everywhere he’s going? He doesn’t have me take him to the courthouse, he doesn’t have me come pick him up. He’s just gone all day until the moment I wake up the next morning.”

“I don’t know, Patton. You’ll have to ask him that, too.”

“I’ll cancel all of his appointments for tomorrow and call in sick for myself. Right under his nose like he does to me. We’ll have all day tomorrow to talk.”

“What about your nanny?”

“My nanny’s in Alabama.” It took Patton a moment. “Oh. The kids’ babysitter. I’ll call her and tell her that her services won’t be needed tomorrow. I can drop the kids off at school then pick them up myself.” Logan didn’t realize the impact that high emotions could have on decision-making. He thought that everything Patton was saying he would do were good decisions given the circumstances, even if they weren’t necessarily ones that would work out in the end.

Logan watched as Patton cleared away his tears and regained his composure so it seemed like he’d never been upset at all. He made every phone call in a professional manner (even though he was leaving voicemails for every person). The abrupt change startled Logan, but he didn’t comment on it. It wasn’t any of his business, really.

***

When Patton woke up the next morning, it was to Ethan poking his side. “What happened to the alarm?” he asked once Patton’s eyes opened. His voice seemed panicked, a hint of accusation buried beneath.

“I didn’t set it,” Patton replied, his voice quiet. “We don’t work today.”

“I do!”

“Shh!” Patton hopped up and held his hand lightly over Ethan’s mouth. “You’ll wake the kids.” There was silence. An exchange of questions, all in the eyes. Then Patton removed his hand.

“Does this have anything to do with why Logan is sleeping on our couch when he’s supposed to be out of town?”

“Yes. We need to talk.”

“All three of us?”

“No. Just you and me.”

“You and _I_ ,” Ethan corrected. Patton brushed it off to continue informing the other man of what the day would entail.

“Logan will go home once he wakes up. He came to comfort me last night when my own husband was _where_ ver with _who_ ever.”

“I had work.”

“Until two o’clock in the morning?” Patton’s voice raised slightly with anger.

“Yes. I’m sorry I’ve had to work so many late nights. I promise I’m getting paid overtime. I promise it’ll be over in a couple months.”

“This has been going on for months, Ethan. I can’t keep doing this. I’m raising these kids without you. With Logan. With the babysitter. They’re seeing the _babysitter_ more than they’re seeing their own second father!”

“With Logan.” Ethan said it like there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that Logan was coming over to help every night. There was jealousy and bitterness in his tone. Patton didn’t notice it at first.

“He’s been a wonderful friend to me.”

“I’d wager he’s been more than just a friend.”

“What do you mean?”

“You can’t tell me you’re not starting to think of him as these kids’ second father instead of me.”

“What does that mean?”

“Are you having sex with him?”

“No. We are friends and coworkers, and he just helps me take care of three kids because it’s not so easy all alone when you’re exhausted from work. The fact that he’s encouraged me to have this discussion with you has nothing to do with romance or intimacy. Only friendship.”

“He wants to have sex with you, then. You can’t invite him over anymore.”

“I’m sorry? You have no idea how Logan feels about me, and you have no control over who my friends are. What’s next, you’re going to ban me from taking the kids over to Remy and Emile’s for Hanukah?”

“We don’t celebrate Hanukah!”

“But they do, and they want to finally meet the twins.”

“You’re not taking them over there.”

“What? Worried Remy and Emile are going to want me to join in and have a threesome?” Ethan sputtered. He wasn’t used to this crudeness from Patton. He wasn’t used to Patton being blunt. He wasn’t used to Patton doing anything except smiling and complying like he was incapable of speaking up for himself. Well, _not anymore_ , apparently, and Ethan knew that was Logan’s fault.

“I’m going to work.”

“You have the day off, and you’re _not_ getting out of this discussion. This has gone on for long enough, Dee. I’m standing up for myself. I won’t let you keep controlling me like I’m some fucking puppet, a piece of fucking _arm candy_ while you go on to bigger and better things and leave your supposed _family_ in the dust.”

“That’s not what’s happening.” Ethan’s voice turned sympathetic. He took Patton’s hands, and Patton allowed himself to be sat down on the bed. Ethan took a seat beside him. “Did Logan tell you that?” Patton didn’t give an answer one way or another, but he didn’t need to. “He may be a brilliant lawyer, but he’s a lawyer, not a detective. He doesn’t know every detail about our lives and how we run our family. He’s misinformed is all. You’ve been a big contributor to my success in the past, but I’m also a damn good attorney, that’s the reason I’m getting so far. I’ve put in just as much work as you have to get me here. Thank you for that, my love.

“Thank you for taking care of the kids while I’ve been working overtime to prove myself in this dog-eat-dog world. I’m the youngest judge in the courts, you know. The others want to see me fail. I’ve been working so hard to prove them wrong. I’m sorry I haven’t been the good family man I promised you I was. Just give me a couple more months of this, then it’ll be over. I’ll have proved that I belong. Help me in this, _please_ , Pat.” Ethan held Patton’s hands tighter, meeting the other man’s eyes.

“Logan says you’re manipulative,” Patton began instead, “a pathological liar. How do I know that’s not what this is?”

“Pat, I love you. I’m so glad we met. I’m so glad we got married and that we’ve formed our own little family. This is all I could’ve ever wanted in life. You've given me everything I’ve ever wanted in life. I know I haven’t been the best husband or father these past few months, but-”

“I don’t want to hear your excuses, Ethan. Please. Spare me the lies. Spare me the manipulation.”

“I’m not lying to you, Pat, I promise. Pinky promise, if it’ll help.” Patton was still childish in some ways, and to him, a pinky promise was legal and binding, much stronger than a spoken promise. Ethan released Patton’s hands and held up his own pinky, waiting to see if Patton would loop theirs. Patton looked at Ethan’s pinky finger and out the bedroom door, as if he could see into the kids’ room and out into the living room where Logan was probably still sleeping.

He wanted to give in. Now that he wasn’t as upset as the previous night, he knew that he didn’t want to break up his family. He didn’t want to destroy his relationship with Ethan, even if they weren’t as happy as he’d always believed. He didn’t want to destroy their kids’ family, even if they were too young to understand what was happening and why.

Ethan held up his pinky finger for as long as Patton thought. Even when he heard the springs in the couch creak, signaling that Logan had woken up, or the man’s footsteps into the kitchen to presumably start breakfast for everyone.

Patton looped their pinkies. “Two months. That’s it.” Ethan knew he had Patton wrapped right around his finger (literally, too, as long as their pinkies were looped), that Logan’s hold on Patton had been too weak.

***

“You did _what_?” Logan asked Patton the next evening, after they’d put the kids to bed. Logan had returned to town, figuring Patton, grieving his lost relationship, would need him more than his family, who seemed to be doing better since they knew that Logan’s father would survive the stroke that had landed him in the hospital. Hearing that Patton hadn’t broken up with Ethan and that Ethan was still working this late into the night was, naturally, a shock to him.

“I know I was so determined the night before last, but-” Patton sighed before continuing his train of thought, “-I realized I didn’t want to break our family apart.”

“Is that what he told you that you’d be doing?”

“No. I realized it myself. He said this would be over in a couple months. That he was working overtime to prove himself as a judge, that all the other judges don’t believe he has what it takes. I’m his husband. It’s my job to support him.”

“He hasn’t been your husband in months. If he’s not cheating on you with a person, he’s cheating on you with his work. Haven’t you heard of heterosexual husbands claiming they needed to work late so they wouldn’t have to ‘deal with the missus?’”

“That’s not what he’s doing.”

“Did you ask him how he’s been getting home from work everyday?”

“No, I forgot. He was appealing to my emotions. I was angry and then I wasn’t. I was so focused on the being alone thing and his jealousy that I forgot about the cheating thing.”

“Jealousy?”

“He claimed you wanted to have sex with me, after I assured him we weren’t.”

“I don’t know what to tell you about that.”

“Do you want to have sex with me?”

“Patton, you’re a married man.”

“That doesn’t answer the question, Logan.”

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you.”

“Yes or no. Do you want to have sex with me? _Yes_ or _no_. Is this all so you can see me divorce Ethan so I’m available to you?”

“No. I’m not doing this because I ‘want to have sex with you.’ I’m doing this because I’m your friend and Ethan is toxic, and you need to see that and end things with him. He’s manipulated you again, Patton. You can have these couple months, but if he doesn’t keep his pinky promise, you need to divorce him. Promise – _pinky promise_ – me that you will.” Logan held up his pinky. Again, Patton needed to think about it, because again, Patton didn’t want to break up his family.

“I promise you everything will change, it’ll get better,” Patton could hear Ethan’s voice saying in his head.

“Things won’t get better until you make them better,” Patton could hear Logan’s voice telling him.

“We’ll be happy again when this is all over.”

“If he breaks his promise, you won’t be happy in your relationship if you stay, and you deserve to be happy.”

“I’ll be better for you.”

“I want what’s best for you.”

The two voices were at war in Patton’s head. He didn’t know whose side to take. They both made compelling points. Logan claimed he wanted him to be his own person and that Ethan wasn’t letting him do that, but what’s to say Logan wasn’t doing the same thing? Patton knew he needed to choose what was best for him and the kids, but he didn’t know what that was.

He was getting a headache.

“I need to think about it,” Patton finally said, rubbing his temples. “I’m sorry, Lo.” He stood up, effectively ending the discussion before Logan could say anything more. He grabbed a couple of ibuprofen from a kitchen cabinet and filled a glass with water. He took the pills. “You can stay here again tonight. I don’t care what Dee has to say about that. If nothing else, he needs to understand you’re my friend. He has no control over who my friends are.”

“‘If nothing else?’ Patton, do you hear yourself?” Logan asked incredulously. “You basically just said you’re willing to let him walk all over you, to leave you basically a single father while he works all the time. As long as he lets you keep your friends.”

“I can’t keep having this discussion, Logan.” Patton sat back down on the couch next to Logan, though, so the discussion would continue.

“If you divorce him, you’ll be a single father, but I’ll still help you with the kids. If you don’t divorce him, he’ll be working all the time and you might as well be a single father, but I’ll still help you with the kids.”

“So then it doesn’t matter what I do.”

“It does. Because if you divorce Ethan, you’ll be free from an abusive relationship. If you stay, he’ll continue to walk all over you and use you for his own benefit.”

“He’s not-”

“That’s what he claims.”

“And you claim the opposite. But before you brought it up, I saw nothing wrong with my relationship. I was happy.”

“You were living a lie. A delusion. You were _delusional_ , Patton!” Logan was exasperated. He knew this would happen if he confronted Patton with the issue (he’d done his research on abusive relationships), but it was still quite upsetting for him to see Patton lie to himself because Ethan was lying to him.

Patton stood quickly, huffing. “Good _night_ , Logan.” Logan sighed.

“Goodnight, Patton.” He didn’t apologize for upsetting Patton, even though the latter man waited for a bit by the entrance to his bedroom before stepping inside.

***

When those couple months had passed, Patton arranged for him and Ethan to have the day off again. Perhaps he shouldn’t have, but he felt the need to remind Ethan of his promise.

This day began similar to the other day Patton had arranged for them both to have off: the alarm that didn’t go off, Logan sleeping on the couch, and the quiet discussion in their room.

“I know today was going to be your last long day, but I wanted it to come sooner. I’ve missed you,” Patton responded after Ethan asked about the alarm.

“You shouldn’t have done that, Patton. I already knew I was going to have to tack on at least one extra day because of the last time you did this,” Ethan told him, his voice gentle, the anger at Patton’s interference simmering barely undetected underneath. “Now I’ll have to tack on an extra week.”

“But this is only another day.”

“Doesn’t matter. I’ll be seen as pathetic for taking a couple days off because my husband demanded it of me.”

“How does that make you pathetic? I only cancelled appointments with other attorneys, not meetings with judges.”

“They’ll hear. Everyone knows who controls my appointments. Everyone knows your voice. They’ll know it’s you who cancelled my appointments, and when I come in perfectly healthy the next day, they’ll know it’s not because I was sick. They’ll know it’s because I let my pathetic, _needy_ husband control my work life.” Patton heard the insults loud and clear and his heart felt like it was literally cracking in two. Ethan quickly realized what he’d said. He noticed the waterworks brimming in Patton’s eyes. “I-” Ethan began to apologize, his voice back to kind and sympathetic, before Patton cut him off.

“Don’t bother. This is what Logan meant. You don’t love me. You only love that you’ve been able to keep me wrapped around your pretty little finger. You don’t like me to be able to make my own choices. You think that I destroy your life when I do, so you don’t let me.”

“Honey, no. You decided to become my friend and to be my boyfriend and to be my husband. You decided to adopt three wonderful children with me. You and those kids and our family are the best things in my life. And that’s all because of decisions you’ve made.”

“Says the man who’s been working all day and all night for the past five months. Who hasn’t done anything with his ‘wonderful family’ unless I’ve forced him to take a day off work.”

“So I’m a workaholic, I admit it.”

“No, you’re not. This isn’t about being addicted to working, loving the numbers that show up on your paycheck each month. This is about you only caring about yourself, not the family that was your idea to make.”

“I’m about to spend a whole day with this family, Pat.”

“Because I’m making you. You wouldn’t have otherwise. You would’ve kept working. Two months would have come and gone. I’d be another five months in, wondering why the hell I’m still putting up with this shit from you. I can’t do it anymore, Dee. I can’t trust what you’re telling me anymore. Logan’s right: we need to get a divorce.”

“That’s what Logan’s been telling you? You’ve been letting him feed you this bullshit, sprinkle these doubts in your mind?”

“Apparently he’s been telling me nothing but the truth. He was telling me what I couldn’t see all along.”

“He’s manipulating you.”

“ _You’re_ manipulating me.”

“He wants to have sex with you.”

“So what if he does? You’re my husband, and you don’t! You don’t want anything to do with me except what I can offer you by shutting the fuck up and doing whatever the hell you ask me to. I can’t be that kind of person anymore, Dee. I can’t let you walk all over me anymore.”

“You’re going to ruin our kids’ lives if you file for divorce.”

“You’ve already ruined their lives by being a terrible father.” Immediately after, Patton was apologizing for the remark, knowing that it was uncalled for. “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry. I’m just... so angry. So upset. It feels like my world’s imploded, like everything I knew isn’t the same. It’s a lot to take in. I guess I’m defaulting to anger.” Patton took a deep breath before continuing. “I’m not going to file for divorce right away. I need time to let it sink in for me. I need time to let everything sink in. I need to figure out where I’ll go from there before I get there.”

“What if you change your mind in that time?”

“I don’t think I will.”

“I could make you.”

“I’m sure you could. You ‘got me out of Logan’s hold’ once. I’m sure you could do it again if you wanted to. But I’ll put up a fight. I’ll have Logan to back me up. You won’t win this time, Deceit.”

“Deceit?”

“It’s what Logan calls you because you’re a liar.”

“So you’re siding with him now?”

“I’m siding with myself, and he’s happened to side with me, unlike you, my supposedly faithful and loving husband.”

“And the kids? Are you siding with them?”

“They’ll see, in time, that this is what’s best for them.”

“Did Logan tell you that, too?”

“Who takes you home from work every day?” Patton asked, deflecting the question.

“I take the bus.”

“At two o’clock in the morning? Try again, Dee.”

“Remy.”

“Ethan, _please_. It’s a simple question. If you’re too scared to tell me the truth because you’re cheating on me, well, obviously Logan’s helped me figure that out, too.”

“Alright, fine. I take an Uber to a separate apartment and I sneak in here about an hour before the alarm is supposed to go off.”

“When do you actually get to your separate apartment? Why do you have it?”

“Originally, when I started working late, I didn’t want to come in at midnight, one o’clock and risk waking anyone up. I stayed in the office, but I realized I couldn’t do that forever. So I started renting the second apartment.”

“You should’ve just come home. I stayed up waiting for you every night. For so long, I would stay awake with Logan, because I wanted the company, and I’d learned that you weren’t going to show.

“I’ll start coming home.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Dee.” Patton had tears in his eyes. When Ethan opened his arms, Patton fell into his embrace without a second thought, despite the argument they were having. “It’s too late for you to change. You can’t erase months of hurt. Months of emotional abuse.”

“There Logan goes, planting bullshit in your head again.”

“But he was right.”

“Says him.”

“And me. He’s shown me his research. He has enough to take you to divorce court.”

“Divorce court.” Ethan had the audacity to laugh. “Please.”

“You won’t be able to change my mind.”

“Divorcing me won’t erase whatever hurt and abuse you think I’ve caused you, Patton.”

“Yes, it will. Time will. Being free from your clutches will.”

“You don’t think you’ll spend that time missing me? That you won’t come back and beg me to marry you again? To reunite our family?”

“I won’t.”

“You love me.”

“I do. But you don’t love me. And I’m coming to terms with it.”

“I do. I love you-”

“ _Stop_. Ethan. _Please_. I’m taking this whole week off of work. I’m staying here with Logan, I'm staying with the kids. You can do whatever you want, just don’t come here. I don’t care anymore otherwise. We’re done. You can expect to hear from my lawyer soon enough.”

“Your lawyer is Logan, and he wants to have sex with you. He’s not qualified”

“He’s my _friend_ , but he is still highly qualified to be my lawyer. We’re going to spend this week building my case, then I’ll file. I’m sorry, Dee, but I’m breaking up with you. You can’t get me back this time. It’s over. _We’re_ over.”

“Fine. Get out of here and tell your new boyfriend the news while I pack.”

“He’s not-” But Patton stood up. He looked regretfully over his shoulder, standing in the doorframe of what was once his and Ethan’s bedroom, before stepping into the hallway and into a new chapter of his life, closing the literal and metaphorical door behind him.

***

A month later found Logan, Ethan, and Patton sitting in the office of another lawyer of the law firm where they worked. This lawyer specialized in divorces, and she was helping them create their divorce papers, going over who got what once the papers were finalized and signed.

“Thank you both for presenting your cases and for bringing along documentation of your assets,” the lawyer began. “We are here today to try to divide everything up as evenly as possible, while remaining amicable. Especially for the sake of your three children. I can refer you to a friend of mine who is a child support lawyer once this is over. They should be able to refer to you to a child therapist, if any of your kids need it.”

“How are we dividing the kids?” Ethan asked, getting straight to the point.

“I don’t want to,” Patton responded, though the question hadn’t been directed at him. “I’d like to keep all of them. Ethan has been working so much lately that I’ve been taking care of them.”

“I told you I’d stop working so late. I’ve been getting off work early since the middle of this month, but you said I’m not allowed to come to the apartment. I haven’t seen the kids in months.”

“That’s your own fault. You’d been working so much, and now that I’ve taken away your privilege to see them, you want to. You never cared about any of us before, except what we could offer your reputation.”

“I told you that’s not true.”

“And I told you that you’re lying to me.” Logan grabbed Patton’s hand, silently both giving him support and telling him to calm down.

“I’d like to leave the kids for last, if you don’t mind,” the divorce attorney told the couple. “I’d like to deal with finances, first. I see you both have separate bank accounts. I see that you both have separate apartments. I see that Ethan pays for both apartments, but that one of the apartments had been Patton’s before. I say you each keep your own apartments, you each keep what’s in your own bank accounts. Does that sound fair?” Both Patton and Ethan nodded. “Logan, Ethan, you two can speak up at any point if you have objections in regards to your clients.” Ethan was his own attorney, as he had the qualifications to be.

“Now to the kids’ assets. I see that they have college fund accounts. Who primarily invests in that...?” The lawyer’s finger travelled down that page. “Both parents contribute, but Ethan contributes more. I understand that that’s because he makes more as a judge. Would you both like to continue contributing to the accounts, even if you do not get to keep one, two, or any of the kids?”

“Yes.” Patton’s answer was automatic. He looked over at Logan, as if asking for approval. Logan shrugged. It ultimately wasn’t his decision to make. Patton was their father. It was Patton’s money. He hadn’t been allowed to speak for himself previously, so he needed to now.

“Yes,” Ethan responded shortly after, as if he’d needed to think it over first.

“Good,” the divorce attorney said, writing that down. “I suppose now we have to move on to the kids. Is that a discussion the two of you are ready to have?” She looked at them both, then looked at Logan.

“I’d like for the kids to be here,” Patton said.

“I think I need to speak with my client in private a moment,” Logan said after. He needed to tell Patton that that wasn’t a possibility, that they wouldn’t understand what was happening, that showing them the whole process would be terrible for their mental health.

Patton looked over at Logan questioningly, but Logan’s own responding look showed that there would be no questions asked. He stood up, and Patton followed suit. “Can we meet again in a couple hours? We can take a recess for lunch while I discuss this with my client. I know it will be a harder matter for him,” Logan asked professionally.

“Of course,” the divorce attorney answered. “Ethan? Is that alright with you?”

“Yes. I could go for lunch,” Ethan responded.

“Then this meeting has been temporarily adjourned. We will meet here again at...” the lawyer looked at the little clock on her desk. “One twenty-five this afternoon. Understood?” The three men nodded. Logan and Patton were first to walk out, then Ethan. Patton opened his mouth to begin the discussion with Logan, but Logan gave him a look that said “not yet.”

Logan gave Patton the okay once they were in his car. “Why can’t the kids come?” he asked. “We’re their fathers. They should know what’s happening with us. This impacts them. They should have a say.”

“Remus and Roman are five, and Virgil is eight,” Logan said factually. “They are too young to have an opinion in a court of law. They are too young to understand what a divorce means. All they will understand is that their fathers fell out of love, so they don’t live with each other anymore.”

“But what if we decide to split them up? What if Ethan decides he wants one or two of the kids? Shouldn’t the kids have a say who they stay with for the rest of their young lives?”

“It’s not their choice to make. And besides, with Ethan working all the time and you, me, and the babysitter primarily taking care of them, I don’t think they’d choose him, if given the choice. They’d choose you. But if Ethan wants the kids, that wouldn’t work out. You two have to decide amongst yourselves which kids you’ll want to keep.”

“I want to keep all of them.”

“You can’t take care of them all on your own.”

“I know. You said you’d help.”

“And when I can’t be around? When I have a family emergency that I can’t just walk away from because everything seems to have calmed down? Let Ethan decide how many he’d like to take.”

“But I want to decide.”

“You’d decide all of them, you said, and that can’t be a possibility for you, Pat. It’s not good for you. I can see that this is eating you up inside, even as you try to maintain a professional demeanor. I know you hate divorcing Ethan. I know that your mental health is poor right now. That’s not the right state of mind to try to take care of three children on your own, whether or not I’m helping you. I can’t take care of both you and three kids, if I stick around, Pat.”

“Who would you want me to take, then?”

“That’s not my place. It’s not my decision. You and Ethan will need to figure that out on your own.”

“But if you could pick.” Patton suddenly sounded distraught, as if, now that he was alone with Logan, he could let out how truly miserable he was about the whole ordeal. “ _Please_ , Logan. I need your guidance. I can’t make these kinds of decisions on my own.”

“You can. You have to.”

“You know I’d pick all of them and you say I can’t handle it. I stated my decision, and you’re not allowing it.”

“Ultimately, Patton, you can do what you’d like. But I’m looking out for you and your mental health by stating that sole opinion. This isn’t me being manipulative, I promise you. I helped you fight your way out of an abusive relationship, I’m not about to be abusive towards you. I want to help you recover from that.”

“Please just tell me, Logan. Logically. If it comes down to me having to make the decision because Ethan doesn’t know the kids well enough because he’s been working so much to give a damn, what would be the logical thing to do?”

“You really want to know? For curiosity’s sake, not so you don’t have to make the tough decisions?”

“But if you’re right, then I’ll make that decision.”

“One child, then. I know you want them all, but you have to fix yourself, too. You can’t handle three kids and yourself. I can’t, either. I don’t know how well either of us could handle two kids and yourself. So one.”

“Virgil, then. So we don’t separate the twins.”

“Maybe. Look, Patton. We can’t get the kids involved in this process, but you can tell them that things are going to change. You can tell them that Ethan fell out of love with you so the two of you are splitting up. That Ethan _does_ love them, so you can’t keep all of them away from him, and he’ll take in who he decides. It’s not a matter of one father loving a specific child more, but what you and Ethan feel is a better situation for yourselves and the kids. They’ll be too young to understand any more than that. They shouldn’t need to know any more than that. You can tell them tonight. I can be there when you tell them.”

“Please. But Lo, you still haven’t answered my question.”

“I’m not about to play favorites with your children, and I’m not about to make any decisions on your behalf. When you tell them the news, maybe I’ll form a more logical opinion and I’ll inform you of it to advise you, but it’s ultimately up to you to decide which child you keep. If you decide Virgil, then I can’t stop you. If you decide one of the twins...”

“I don’t want to break up the twins. They’ve been together since birth. It would destroy them.”

“But if it turns out that will be better for you, maybe the sacrifice will have to be made. They might not remember it later, anyway. Children don’t retain many memories from before the age of seven.”

“But this is a bad memory, right? They might remember it more.”

“We’d have to see in time. You don’t have to think about this now. We’ve had our discussion, now let’s have lunch.” They’d been sitting in the car, parked in the parking lot of Denny’s. After his final sentence, Logan got out of his car. He waited for Patton to do the same. Logan led them inside, where they would have a nice lunch, free from talk of divorce court, children, and mental health.

***

“Your father and I-” Patton began to explain to his sons, seated in the living room with them, Ethan, and Logan. It was later that evening, after dinner. Logan hadn’t initially agreed to Ethan being there when Patton delivered the news, but Patton said that it would likely be better for the kids to hear from both of their fathers what was happening and what was going to happen, “-aren’t going to be together anymore. You know your other father has been working all the time, and I had to find out that that’s because he’s fallen out of love with me. And when people fall out of love, it’s better that they don’t stay together. Even though this might hurt the three of you, we’ve decided that this is what is best for us. We want, from here, to decide what’s best for you. I’ve decided to tell you my truth, and your other father is here tonight to do the same.” That concluding statement passed the floor to Ethan, who began his own explanation. He’d been advised by the divorce attorney not to vilify Patton (Patton had been advised the same, but of course, it wasn’t really necessary; Patton wasn’t the kind of person to badmouth someone else), but Logan was sure that’s what would happen tonight (hence his reluctance to allow Ethan to take part in the discussion with the kids).

“I know I haven’t been the best father lately,” Ethan began. “I know I haven’t been around at all, and Remus and Roman, especially, haven’t gotten to know me very well. A few months ago, I told your other father that I was working to support our family, to prove myself in and maintain my position that helped support all five of us. I told him that I needed a little more time to stabilize myself in my new job – that I’d only had for a few months at that point. I told him that as soon as I did that, I’d come back home, I’d be the husband he loved and the father the three of you needed. Unfortunately, his friend, Logan, planted a few bad seeds in his mind.” The divorce attorney had said nothing against Ethan vilifying Logan. “So your father and I had a few disagreements and we decided that it wasn’t the best for us to stay with each other anymore. We’d realized that we’d fallen out of love with each other, in the time I’d been away from this family, so focused on my work. I suppose that’s my own fault. I don’t want you to see either myself or your other father in a bad light. I just want you to know that we’ve come to this decision, and from here on out, we have your best interests in mind.”

There was silence in the room. Ethan had finished his statement, Patton had nothing else to say, Logan had no right to say anything. He could’ve chosen to defend himself, he supposed, but he didn’t know how much merit the kids - who had seen him more than their second father - would give the latter man. He wondered if they understood what had been said, what their parents splitting up means for them.

“We both love you very much,” Patton finally told the kids, breaking the silence. He noticed the tears in Virgil’s eyes. He could almost sense the insecurity flowing in. Virgil had been in an abusive household before, Patton knew. He’d seen parents who’d fallen out of love and took it out on each other with violence until Virgil had been caught in the crossfire, CPS had been called, and Virgil had been put in the system. To see another set of parents fall out of love surely hurt Virgil.

Maybe the kid thought he was a jinx to good relationships. Maybe he thought that his parents couldn’t love him, since he symbolized their unity – in a way. His biological parents had probably tried to stay together for his sake. Now his adoptive parents were splitting up, and maybe he thought this meant that they didn’t love him enough to try like his biological parents had.

Roman could also sense the sadness Virgil was feeling, if not the reason for it. He sat in between Virgil and Remus, and he used his position to give the older boy a tight hug. Both boys started crying, as if Virgil had needed only that hug to come undone, as if Roman could understand what was happening, or as if Roman was so sensitive to other people’s emotions that Patton and Virgil’s sadness had afflicted him, as well.

Remus could only sit there, his gaze flicking between his crying brothers, Patton, who had started crying upon seeing his sons start crying, Logan, who held Patton while he cried, and Ethan, who Remus could tell was sad, even if he didn’t show it. He stood up and walked over to Ethan, raising his arms in a silent plea to his father to lift him into his lap. Ethan complied, and Remus hugged him tight.

“I love you, Remus, I promise,” Ethan whispered to his son. “I love all of you boys,” Ethan said a little louder, so all three of his sons could hear. “If there were a better way for us to do this, your other father and I would find it. But we don’t want to keep hurting each other, and we don’t want to hurt you, either.”

“What happens when you don’t stay together?” Virgil asked, his voice soft and small, innocent, choked back by tears.

“We won’t live together,” Ethan responded before Patton could. The latter man had pulled out of Logan’s embrace so he could participate in the discussion. “We’ll have to decide where the three of you will live. How often you’ll get to see the other father.” Patton had forgotten about that last fact. He knew about child support, but he didn’t realize that he’d have the option to see whichever children he didn’t keep, that Ethan would have the option to do the same. He thought they’d be completely cut out of each other’s lives. He supposed that depended on how civil he and Ethan agreed to be for their children’s sakes. _He_ , personally, wanted to be civil with Ethan, but the other man had already badmouthed Logan, so Patton would see if civility from Ethan was a possibility.

“We’ve agreed to a testing period, because _someone_ ,” Ethan continued speaking, shooting a pointed look in Logan and Patton’s direction at this, “doubts my ability to parent. I will be taking Virgil home with me for this week, and your other father will keep Remus and Roman. Next week, we’ll switch, and I’ll take Remus and Roman and your other father will take Virgil. We’ll have a friend of our attorney stop by a couple times a week to check in on how we’re doing, how the environment is, what we can do better. At the end of it, she’ll give us an evaluation: documentation of her observations of both how the parent gets along with the child/children and how the child/children get along with the parent. This evaluation will factor in to which child we decide to have live with us. Once we decide that, we’ll decide visitation. But anyway. Virgil, how about you go pack a bag? Your brothers can come help you, and I can in a moment.” Virgil nodded, standing up, always quick to obey an order. Remus and Roman followed him out of the living room and into their bedroom.

“The attorney said you couldn’t vilify us,” Patton said quietly, referencing not only Ethan’s pointed look which succeeded a vilifying statement, but also his earlier vilifying statement about Logan.

“She just said I couldn’t vilify _you_.” Ethan’s voice was softer now, but it held a bitter edge. “She said we shouldn’t make one parent look worse than the other. Logan isn’t their parent, unless you really are having sex with him now that we’re finalizing our divorce.”

“We’re not. But you should still treat Logan respectfully. He’s been here for them - and for me - when you haven’t been. He’s going to continue to be here for me once you’re gone.”

“Because he wants to have sex with you.”

“Stop saying that. We’re about to be divorced, Ethan. You don’t get to be jealous over Logan anymore. If I decide to have sex with Logan at a later time, that’s none of your business.”

“You’re ruining these kids’ lives.”

“In time, they’ll see that we’ve chosen what was best for us and for them.”

“You sound like _him_.”

“That means I sound logical.”

“Logic isn’t always better than emotion.”

“How many court cases did emotion win you, sweetheart?” Patton asked bitterly, the term of endearment merely sarcastic. Ethan stood up.

“I’m going to help my son.”

“He’s not just _your_ son.”

“He is for this week. Good luck with the twins.” Patton sighed, watching as Ethan walked off. He looked over at Logan, as if needing him to reaffirm that he was doing the right thing. Logan nodded.

“Will you get to be around these next couple weeks to help me, since the lawyer’s friend will be monitoring us?” Patton asked Logan.

“Seeing as I plan to help you some of the time with the kids, it should be allowed. If she asks why I’m there, we can explain the situation,” Logan responded. “I’m not leaving your side, Patton. I want to do what’s best for you and for these kids. I want to help however I can.”

“Thank you, Lo.” They sat on the couch silently for a few more minutes, listening to Ethan interacting with the boys as he helped Virgil pack for his week away from home. When the four emerged, Virgil was leading them, and Remus and Roman held the back. Ethan was between the boys, rolling Virgil’s small suitcase.

Virgil ran to Patton and the man engulfed his son in a hug. Naturally, the anxious boy was scared to be leaving a familiar environment, and Patton could sense this. “It’s okay, Vee,” Patton told his son. “You’re going to be with other daddy. His apartment is safe. He won’t let any harm come to you. I trust him to take care of you. I know that he loves you. I love you, too, and if you need to call me at any point, if you want to call to talk to me or to the twins, I’m sure other daddy will allow it. Okay? It’ll be okay. You’ll be back here in a week.” Patton pressed a kiss to the top of his son’s head. He rubbed his back as the boy cried softly, his body shaking against Patton’s. When Virgil finally calmed down, he held his arms out towards Logan, silently saying that that’s where he wanted to go next.

Logan lifted the boy from his father’s lap and sat him into his own, groaning and pretending to complain that Virgil was heavy. It put the smallest of smiles on the boy’s face. He hugged Logan, and Logan hugged back. This was a quicker goodbye, mostly because the boy knew that Logan wasn’t a very affectionate person. He got off the couch to go stand by Ethan, who was wishing the twins goodbye. He gave both Remus and Roman a goodbye hug.

Finally, with his head down, Virgil followed Ethan and the tiny suitcase out of the door, out of the apartment, and into unfamiliarity. Patton was sure his son would be just fine, but he couldn’t help but worry. He already wanted to call and check in on him. But Remus and Roman needed him now. Roman looked just as sad as Virgil had. Patton held open his arms, and both of his sons ran into them.

He held both of his sons tightly, rubbing their backs. “It’ll be alright,” he told them. “I know it hurts. I wouldn’t have liked it to be this way, either. We’ll wait for Virgil to call us, okay?” This was mostly said for his own benefit. “Let’s get you some ice cream, then put you to bed. How does that sound?”

“Patton, you can’t spoil the kids,” Logan told him, though both boys had already jumped up, the promise of ice cream enough to soothe the hurt for now.

“It’s not spoiling them. I need some ice cream, too. Ice cream helps with sadness.”

“Will you do the same with Virgil, then, when it’s his week?”

“I imagine it’ll come to that, yes.” The twins had already run into the kitchen. Patton wasn’t far behind them. He served them all ice cream (though Logan declined). Afterwards, Patton played with the boys while they rode out their sugar high, tucking them both into bed after they’d crashed on the ground, in the middle of a game where Patton was a princess in need of rescue from a tower, Roman was the prince tasked with saving the princess, and Remus was the dragon guarding the tower (he never minded being cast in the villain role, which was a surprise to both Patton and Logan, but they didn’t bother trying to switch things up). Logan watched on to make sure no one got hurt. He knew it wasn’t his place to be the boys’ father. They were not his sons.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the evaluation period of the families. The strike-throughs of the numbers in the first section of each evaluation symbolize the evaluator's selections. However, the strike-throughs through the 4's are indistinguishable. If a line appears to have no strike through a number, assume it is through the 4.

**Week One, Day 3: Evaluation of Patton Sanders and Remus and Roman** ********

**_Living environment:_ **

  * _Cleanliness_ : 1 2 3 ~~4~~ 5 
  * _Appropriateness_ : 1 2 3 4 ~~5~~
  * _Atmosphere_ : 1 2 ~~3~~ 4 5 



***Note the presence of Logan Lehrer 

**_Parent’s behavior toward child(ren):_ **

Upon my arrival, Logan Lehrer answered the door. He led me into the kids’ room, where Patton Sanders was building Lego structures with Remus and Roman. I merely observed at first, then my presence was noticed. Patton kindly introduced me to the children and explained to them why I was there. Patton took this opportunity to make them lunch, talking with me as he did so. He looked in the direction of the boys’ room every once in a while, showing me that he was also listening in on what they were doing and would be ready to intervene if necessary. No such conflicts arose. 

**_Child(ren)’s behavior toward_** ** _parent_** ** _:_ **

Remus: Remus didn’t seem to care which parent was watching him. He played with Roman and Patton in the same manner, though he became more antagonistic with only Roman, Patton informed me (but he also informed me that it was nothing more than normal sibling disagreements). He wasn’t very affectionate. He didn’t seem to be affected by Ethan and Virgil’s absence. 

Roman: Roman clung to Patton more. After lunch, Patton put the boys down for a nap, and Roman didn’t finally fall asleep until Patton climbed into bed with him and he had cried himself to exhaustion. Patton explained that Virgil was probably Roman’s favorite brother, because he was a kinder, calmer presence than his other half. Roman did not seem to miss Ethan’s presence, however. 

*** 

**Week One, Day 6: Evaluation of Ethan Sanders (née Lee) and Virgil**

**_Living environment:_ **

  * _Cleanliness_ : 1 2 3 ~~4~~ 5 
  * _Appropriateness_ : 1 2 3 4 ~~5~~
  * _Atmosphere_ : 1 ~~2~~ 3 4 5 



**_Parent’s behavior toward child(ren):_ **

Upon my arrival at the apartment, Ethan explained to me that Virgil was having a hard time acclimating. He was currently reading a book in the one bedroom of the apartment (and upon my questioning remark about a single bedroom accommodating both father and son(s), he assured me he’d move into a larger apartment when he was granted custody of any of the children). He informed me how Virgil had alternated between sleeping and crying, the first few days. Ethan did nothing but sit in the room and offer a shoulder to cry on. He said he believed it would just take Virgil some time to get used to his presence and the absence of his other father and brothers. He liked that Virgil was quiet, but he did try to converse with the boy. 

Ethan told me that the boy hadn’t come from a good home before he’d come to them, and he was more reserved by nature. Ethan said that if he were granted custody of Virgil, he would contact a child therapist to help the boy better deal with the mental health issues that likely resulted from his previous family (and those that would likely emerge or worsen because of this ordeal). 

**_Child(ren)’s behavior toward_** ** _parent_** ** _:_ **

The only time the boy seemed to open up to his father and cheer up was when he asked (and was able) to use Ethan’s phone to call Patton and the twins, once on the second day of this week and another the day before yesterday. Upon my request, Ethan told Virgil he could call the family again that afternoon, so I could see this change in demeanor. I’d witnessed the boy reading in the bedroom, quiet and solemn, even as his father sat beside him. Then I was able to witness the boy cry (in happiness, Ethan assured me) during the phone call. Virgil seemed to prefer Patton to Ethan, but I would determine this for sure next week. 

*** 

**Week Two, Day 3: Evaluation of Patton Sanders and Virgil**

**_Living environment:_ **

  * _Cleanliness_ : 1 2 3 ~~4~~ 5 
  * _Appropriateness_ : 1 2 3 4 ~~5~~
  * _Atmosphere_ : 1 2 3 ~~4~~ 5 



***Note the presence of Logan Lehrer 

**_Parent’s behavior toward child(ren):_ **

Like with the twins, Logan Lehrer answered the door when I arrived. I was led into the dining room/kitchen, where Virgil and Patton were sitting at the dining room table with an assortment of colored paper and drawing/writing utensils. I observed Patton showing Virgil how to draw certain images Virgil wanted to include in his picture. I observed the two working in silence until Virgil asked, his voice soft, for Patton’s guidance. I observed Patton compliment his son’s drawing once it was completed and hang it up on the fridge. I observed Patton singing the cleanup song as he and Virgil gathered up all the materials – though it was Patton who took them back to the boys’ bedroom. Patton informed me that it upset Virgil too much to step foot in there when the other two beds (a bunk bed) were empty, how there was evidence of the boys having been there, but they weren’t. 

**_Child(ren)’s behavior toward_** ** _parent_** ** _:_ **

I observed how Virgil was also quiet in this environment, but instead of sadness, there was contentment in the air. He appeared to be more comfortable with Patton at his side, just sitting there as Ethan had before. 

I knew Virgil was the oldest of his siblings, so he’d had both Ethan and Patton as parents before Ethan began working overtime. I wanted to ask the boy if he felt any resentment toward Ethan for suddenly focusing on his work (which, in the mind of a child like himself, might be seen as abandoning the family), but it’s not my job to engage with the children. I was tempted to ask Patton if he might know, but again, not my place. 

*** 

**Week Two, Day 6: Evaluation of Ethan Sanders (née Lee) and Remus and Roman**

**_Living environment:_ **

  * _Cleanliness_ : 1 2 3 ~~4~~ 5 
  * _Appropriateness_ : 1 2 3 4 ~~5~~
  * _Atmosphere_ : 1 2 ~~3~~ 4 5 



**_Parent’s behavior toward child(ren):_ **

Ethan did not seem to be overwhelmed by having to take care of two kids instead of one (especially since the energetic nature of these kids rivaled Virgil’s quiet nature from the week before). The boys had packed the Legos, so he was able to build alongside them (and he told me that he had other days of the week). However, when I arrived, I was informed I’d interrupted a game of make-believe. Roman was a prince sent on a quest to save a princess in a tower, Remus was the dragon at the tower (they had Roman’s stuffed bear serve as the princess. When I asked Ethan about this, I was informed that the bear would be called Princess Pat, after their other father, who always played the part of the princess when he played with the boys), and Ethan was a sorcerer, meant to impede the prince’s journey past his hut, which was on the way to the tower. 

Ethan informed me that Roman had asked him to play the sorcerer, and he didn’t dare go against the boy’s wishes. He didn’t ask why he had to play a villain role. In fact, he seemed to enjoy it, just as Remus seemed to enjoy being the dragon. 

**_Child(ren)’s behavior toward_** ** _parent_** ** _:_ **

Remus: Remus doesn’t appear to prefer one parent over the other, when I compare my notes from the week before with Patton, my observations with Ethan today, or the phone call I’d instructed Ethan to allow the boys to make with Patton (which was the second this week; the first, Ethan said, was soon after I’d left Patton’s apartment this week). Again, he didn’t seem to care which parent was watching over/playing with him. He played with Roman just the same as he had in Patton’s apartment. He didn’t seem affected by Virgil and Patton’s absence. 

Roman: Again, Roman appeared to notice Virgil’s absence, however, I noted that he clung more to his teddy bear than to Ethan (to which Ethan explained that neither he nor Remus were very affectionate and that Roman could pick up on that and respected it). He seemed to light up when he was able to call Patton and Virgil, but his mood did not fall when the call ended (in contrast to what I noticed with Virgil the week before).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lehrer is a German surname meaning teacher. I thought it was clever.


	3. Chapter 3

The two weeks were over. The kids were at school. Patton, Ethan, and Logan had taken the day off work to meet again with the divorce attorney. Accompanying the divorce attorney was the child support lawyer, because today would be the day that the men decided which children they were going to keep, and from there, child support payments would likely need to be determined. Also accompanying the divorce attorney was the woman who monitored the boys’ environment and behaviors over the past couple weeks. 

The woman read over what she had observed, not allowing either parent to make objections. She was an outside source looking in, she explained. She didn’t know the intricacies of each household, but she did her best to be nonpartisan and state that which she saw and what she believed about which environment would be better suited for each kid. The fathers did not have to follow her suggestions, if they didn’t wish to, but she made sure to assure them that she had come to those conclusions logically, based on her observations and an attempt to predict what might change as the boys grew up and adapted to whichever environment they were placed in. 

After the woman had spoken her piece, Logan requested they take a lunch break. He could tell that he would need to have a discussion with Patton. Plus, it was around lunchtime at that point. Everyone in the room agreed, so they would have an hour and a half recess for lunch. 

Logan and Patton were the first to leave. As soon as they got in Logan’s car and he started it up, the question flew past Patton’s lips: “What do you think, Lo?” 

“What do _you_ think, Pat?” was the answer the man received. “Do you agree with the woman that Virgil and Roman would do better with you, but Remus would be fine either way?” 

“I can’t say one way or the other. I didn’t get to see how they were with Ethan. I don’t want to split up the boys. And you only want me to take one kiddo, anyway.” 

“But _you're_ the one who has the final say, Patton.” 

“And again, I remind you how I’d love to keep them all. Maybe I should just let Ethan decide.” 

“ _You_ also get a say, Patton. If you disagree with Ethan, you’ll need to be able to express it. You’re _allowed_ to express it.” 

“Would Remus be fine without Roman?” 

“The woman seems to think so.” 

“She was more watching the parents with the kids, not the twins with each other.” 

“I think the twins, especially, are very strong, and if we decided it was necessary, they would learn to live without each other.” 

“We could arrange a day for Ethan and I to meet up so the twins could see each other if that happened.” 

“No.” Logan’s voice was stern, his reply automatic. 

“ _No_?” Patton rose to the defensive, worried that this was _Logan_ emotionally abusing him, now. 

“Any reunion with Ethan would serve as a perfect opportunity for him to convince you to get back together with him, and you don’t want to do that, remember? He’s emotionally abused you. You’re divorcing him. Seeing him again – even for the kids’ sakes - wouldn’t help you get over him. You’d be putting yourself at risk of falling for his tricks again because you still love him. You want to do what’s best for the kids, of course, but you need to consider yourself, as well.” 

“So what? After we settle this, I leave town? I cut off contact with Ethan entirely? I never speak to whichever son or sons I give up?” 

“I think that would be the best for you, yes.” 

“But would that be best for them?” 

“It would depend on who goes with whom, I suppose.” 

“And you don’t know who I should choose? The woman said I handled them all just fine, but you don’t think it would be best for me to keep more than one.” 

“I’m not going to make this decision for you, Pat. I don’t want to have to keep telling you this. I know it’s not easy for you to make your own decisions, but you have to. Once you’re officially divorced from Ethan, he won’t control you anymore. That’s why you’ll be going away: so he can’t get his fangs back in you. Look, we’re here.” The car was parked in the parking lot of an IHOP. “Let’s have a nice lunch and not worry about making decisions, okay?” 

“IHOP serves breakfast food.” 

“Patton.” Logan’s tone was gentle, even as a hint of irritation shone through. 

“Sorry. Of course. We can drop the subject. I’ll try not to ask you again.” 

“I didn’t mean to upset you, Patton.” 

“I’m fine.” Patton got out of the car, ending the conversation there. The men were silent as they walked into the restaurant. 

They enjoyed a peaceful, if not somewhat strained, lunch (of breakfast food). Then, they returned to the divorce attorney’s office. The divorce attorney, the child support attorney, and Ethan were already there. The woman was no longer needed, since she’d delivered her statement and left her evaluations with the divorce attorney. Patton and Logan took their seats. 

“So,” the divorce attorney began. “I hope this lunch was well spent considering the children’s living situations. Would either of you like to speak first?” Patton looked over at Ethan. The other man knew that this was him being asked to speak. So he did. 

“I would like to take Virgil,” he said. 

“Even though he appeared to be better suited for Patton’s company?” 

“I think he would just need more time to acclimate to my company, to learn to trust me again. I think I would ultimately be a better father for him.” Patton opened his mouth to object, but Logan grabbed his hand in a manner that told him not to. So he didn’t. Ethan continued defending his decision. “I know that he needs to see a child therapist. I brought it up with Patton when we first adopted him, but he said that the boy just needed to adjust to his new home life. It’s been about three years, and he still shows signs of mental health issues. In my absence, Patton has made no move to get him to see a child therapist. I would take that step. I would help him improve his mental health. If he happened to need medication, I would pay for it.” He was finished speaking, so now Patton had the floor. 

“Virgil doesn’t have mental health issues,” Patton said. “He’s doing well considering the environment he was raised in. He’s smart. He gets along with the twins. His quietness isn’t a bad thing.” 

“Before coming to live with us, he was raised in an abusive home,” Ethan interjected. “His parents were physically abusive, and he had no choice but to watch, until one day, he’d finally been struck. Until one day, physical abuse was all he knew. Until one day, he was being ripped away from his biological family. And now he’s going to have to deal with our divorce. That doesn’t sound like a kid who will have good mental health. And if you can’t see that, then you’re not fit to raise him. Even if he appears to get along better with you because I haven’t been around, I’ll be there for him, and I’ll help him. You may be around for him, but you won’t help him how he needs it. So I’m taking Virgil. Unless your boyfriend has anything to say in opposition?” Ethan looked at Logan. 

“He’s not-” But Patton knew that there was no point in reiterating the fact that Logan wasn’t his boyfriend. It still hadn’t sunk into Ethan’s thick, jealous skull, so there was no hope for it now. 

Logan had no objections. 

“So that leaves Patton with the twins, then,” the divorce attorney said. The divorce attorney made to write down the decision. 

“I can’t,” Patton said, sounding regretful (in that he regretted speaking up but also that he regretted that what he was saying was probably the truth). 

“You're going to split up the twins?” Ethan asked. 

“I don’t think I can handle them both. Not on my own.” 

“What about your boyfriend?” 

“Ethan, you need to stop. I’ve told you so many times that he’s not. Anyway.” Patton didn’t know how to continue. He looked over at Logan, silently pleading for his attorney and friend to speak on his behalf. He didn’t know why he said what he did; he just knew it’s the decision Logan would have wanted him to make. 

“You’ll see in the case file that the reason my client has filed for divorce,” Logan explained, sounding professional, “was emotional abuse at the hands of Ethan. Not towards the children, but towards Patton. We’ve compiled evidence in case Ethan decided to dispute the claim, but we’re too far along in this process for any opposition to be of any real merit. 

“People who have suffered emotional abuse would be best undertaking therapy, as well as removing any and all traces of the abuser from their lives. After we are finished with these proceedings, Patton has planned to move out of town. He would not be able to handle fixing himself and moving out of town with two hyperactive children in tow. If Ethan insists on keeping Virgil, then unfortunately, that leaves Patton to split up the twins. As much as we consider the wellbeing of the children, we also need to consider the wellbeing of the parent. An unstable parent is not suited to the wellbeing of a child. 

“My client is willing to pay the appropriate child support, but I ask, on his behalf, that we split up the twins. As he suffered emotional abuse, he cannot make one hundred percent of his decisions. He has never been allowed to. He’s always had to be Ethan’s arm candy, silent, only looking pretty, always bettering Ethan’s reputation. 

“With that said, I’m afraid that means either Ethan or I will have to decide which twin Patton keeps. And as his lawyer, I say that should be me. Ethan should no longer be allowed a say in Patton’s life.” 

“Do you agree with Mr. Lehrer that he should decide which twin Patton will raise? This is a decision that impacts you, as well,” the divorce attorney asked and informed Ethan. 

“I agree,” Ethan responded. He didn’t seem to hesitate. 

“Very well, then. Mr. Lehrer, what is your decision on your client’s behalf?” 

“I believe Patton should keep Roman. The evaluations stated that Remus would be fine in either household but that Roman would do better with Patton’s company. I understand that it would be a lot for the boy to be separated from Virgil – who the evaluations claim he has a preference for, despite the fact that Remus is his twin brother – and from Remus, but both of the twins have very strong characters. I know they would be just fine without each other, in time. And if we’re really being truthful, the boys may not remember their time with each other, as most children do not retain memories from before the age of seven. 

“Moving on, I know that Patton and Roman, so sensitive to each other’s emotions would be able to help each other out, when needed. Remus does not have that same sensitivity. He might slip up and make my client more upset. However, I imagine he and Ethan might get along swimmingly. According to the evaluations, they’re alike in a few ways.” Logan finished speaking. 

“Patton and Ethan,” the divorce attorney asked, “do either of you have objections to this arrangement? The arrangement being that Ethan keep Virgil and Remus and Patton keep Roman?” Neither of the addressed men spoke. “Very well, then.” The divorce attorney wrote this down. “Now onto the finances.” 

*** 

The next day, Logan, Patton, and Ethan returned to the divorce attorney’s office one final time. That day, the divorce papers were finalized, and all they needed were the appropriate signatures in the appropriate places. 

Patton signed first. He officially freed himself from Ethan’s manipulations. He didn’t even stay to watch Ethan sign. Logan did, but he let Patton go wait in Logan’s car. All three of them would need to go deliver the news to the kids once Ethan signed the papers. 

Patton knew it was all over when Logan stepped out of the building. He got into the car and started it up. He noticed Ethan’s car following them all the way to Patton’s apartment. 

Patton had called the boys’ school to get them a sick day, and begged the babysitter to watch them for a few hours while he and Ethan took care of the divorce. She was relieved from duty as soon as Patton stepped into the apartment, and the three men waited for her car to pull out of the driveway before calling the boys into the living room. 

“Remember how Daddy and I told you we were splitting up?” Patton asked the boys to begin the conversation. Three small heads nodded in response. “Today, it’s happening. We’ve made all the decisions, finally, so we’re here to deliver the news.” 

“Remember,” Logan told them, not sure if Patton or Ethan would remember to on this emotional-filled day, “that what happens today is no indication of one father’s love over another. They love you all equally. They’ve both thought long and hard over this, over what is best for them and for the three of you. They have not separated to hurt you, they will not be separating the three of you to hurt you. In time, I’m sure you will see that your fathers made the best decisions they could, given the circumstances.” 

“Thank you for that, Logan,” Ethan spoke up, his voice vitriolic. It was the first time he’d shown this face in front of his sons. “I suppose I’m supposed to be the villain in this narrative and tell the boys what we’ve decided?” He certainly played the villain well. “Very well.” 

“It took a lot of thought,” Ethan told the three boys, no longer sounding bitter, “but your father and I have decided that Virgil and Remus will be coming with me, and Roman will be going wherever the hell Patton decides he’s going.” 

“Language!” Patton reprimanded in a whisper. It didn’t really matter, though, because the word had been said. All three boys had heard each and _every_ word. They needed a moment to let it sink in. Had their fathers really agreed to split them up? Had their fathers really agreed to split them up _this_ way? What did Ethan mean, 'wherever the hell Patton decides he’s going?' Were they never going to see each other again? 

There were tears in Virgil’s eyes. He was the first to understand the situation. He looked up at Patton, the tears cascading down his cheeks and asked, “How could you? How could you just give up Remus like that? How could you separate him from his own twin?” Roman and Remus were hugging each other tightly. Remus wasn’t affectionate, but Roman was. Even if Remus could be a bully occasionally, Roman didn’t want to be separated from his brother. Virgil already seemed to have slotted himself into the protective older brother role. At least it wouldn’t all be for nothing. 

Roman was crying, too. It took everything in Patton not to start sobbing into Logan’s shoulder. He knew he needed to be strong for his sons. 

“The decision’s already been made, I’m afraid,” Logan said. He had never been a very emotional person. He wasn’t empathetic. He couldn’t understand how these boys felt. He could only see the logic in the decisions the three men had made. 

“Dee, can they stay here tonight?” Patton asked his now ex-husband, using the man’s nickname in hopes of making him sympathetic to his case. “I think they need one last night together, in familiarity, before we rip their lives apart.” 

“Can Daddy stay, too?” Virgil asked. At this point, all three boys were hugging each other and crying. “Please? One last night as family.” Patton looked to Logan for his approval. 

“Don’t look to him for help,” Ethan hissed to Patton under his breath. “If you wanted someone to make your decisions, you would have stayed with me. You make the decisions now, Patton.” His voice was a little louder – but hopefully not quite loud enough for the boys to hear - and more vitriolic for this last statement. 

“Would you like Logan to stay, as well?” Patton asked his sons. 

“Please?” Roman asked this time. 

“Of course. Daddy and Logan can both stay here tonight.” Logan looked at Patton. It was the look that meant, 'We need to talk about this.' “Logan and I will be right back. Ethan, if you’ll please watch our sons?” Ethan nodded. Logan and Patton stood up and walked outside. 

“What were you thinking agreeing to that?” Logan hissed once he’d closed the door behind them. 

“I couldn’t deny the boys one final night as a family. They love both of their fathers, but you’ve been around so much that they also consider _you_ family.” 

“Where will we all stay? You have your bed, but you only have one couch. You can’t sleep with Ethan, because he might use that as a chance to get you back under his thumb.” 

“Then you can sleep with me.” 

“Aren’t you worried I want to have sex with you?” 

“That’s Ethan’s worry. I know you and I are just friends. I know that even if you wanted to have sex with me, you wouldn’t do it while the kids were home, and I know you wouldn’t do it while I was so emotionally vulnerable. I suppose you’re expecting me to tell Ethan he’s been demoted to the couch?” 

“It’s your apartment, Patton, not mine.” Patton nodded. With that discussed, the two men stepped back inside. Patton was relieved to see everything just how he and Logan had left it. “How about Daddy and I tuck you into bed?” 

“And Logan?” Virgil asked. 

“Sure, he can tuck one of you in.” Ethan shot Patton a look. Patton returned it with one that said, 'We’re ruining these boys’ lives. Let them have one last good night together.' Ethan nodded. The boys got up, and the men followed them into their bedroom. 

Ethan tucked in Remus, Patton tucked in Roman, and Logan tucked in Virgil. Patton and Ethan gave all three of their sons goodnight kisses. Then the men left the room, Logan the last out, shutting off the light and closing the door behind him. 

“You’re sleeping on the couch, by the way,” Patton told Ethan once the three men had exited the kids’ room. 

“You’re going to let that _lecher_ sleep in your bed?” Ethan responded unkindly. 

“Your old tricks are tired, Deceit. I’ve made my decision, and that’s final.” 

“Goodnight.” Ethan’s voice was bitter. He turned away and walked in the direction of the living room, before Patton had a chance to reply. Patton and Logan walked into Patton’s room. They got under the covers. 

It took everyone in that household a while to fall asleep. Tears were shed, sobs were kept quiet. Logan comforted Patton, and Roman and Virgil comforted each other in Virgil’s bed. 

Eventually, everyone fell asleep. And when they woke up the next morning, the next chapter of their lives began. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how divorces work (and truth be told, I was so in the groove when I was writing this that I didn't want to research all the intricacies of the thing), so I hope this is a close enough portrayal.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a short, filler chapter which summarizes the families' lives between the moments of the previous chapter and those to come in the succeeding chapters.

It took Patton a few months to find a secretary job and a house for rent in another city. Also in that time, Logan was looking for a new job so he could stay with – and support - Patton every step of the way. He and Patton agreed to share the house. Logan agreed to pay more of the rent so Patton could worry more about child support. 

When they found job openings for a secretary and a lawyer at the same law firm in a different town, they considered it a wonderful miracle. Logan and Patton gave their two weeks’ resignation notice at their current law firm. Then, the two men and Roman packed up their belongings and left town. 

Within another week, the men were settled in at their new jobs, Roman had been enrolled in the local elementary school, and the men had found Roman a babysitter. It was a drastic change, definitely, but they had several years to get used to it. Together, the three of them would get through it. 

*** 

Roman was ten years old when Logan and Patton got married. He only ever thought of them as his fathers, though Patton and Logan made sure he knew about Ethan, Virgil, and Remus. They didn’t vilify the men or the boys, but simply stated what had happened that had landed them all where they were that day. Patton and Logan didn’t let Roman disrespect his other family (especially since he had no real memory of their personalities, and he never got to see them as they were in the present day). Any pictures Patton had of all of them, he made sure to show his son. He didn’t dare hide the past from him, the good and the bad. He would let Roman form his own opinion, but he would teach him the respect to keep a bad opinion to himself. 

Roman felt lucky to have the family that he did, even though he often wondered what it would be like to have a twin. He wondered what it would have been like to have an older brother. He would swear he had a single memory of all of them together: 

It was soon after they’d been adopted. Ethan was still around. Roman was having trouble adjusting to his new life with his new family. He was glad to have his brother, but his brother couldn’t provide him comfort. Remus had never been good at that. Roman was the sympathetic/empathetic twin. 

So Roman sought comfort in his new parents’ arms. Because even if he hadn’t known them very long, he knew that parents always provided comfort to their kids, always helped to cheer them up when they felt down. 

He’d been surprised, when he’d walked into his fathers’ room and crawled into their bed, to find another child already there. Virgil had had a nightmare, and he’d sought comfort from it in bed with his parents. The boy was still awake, even though their fathers were asleep. Both boys had tears in their eyes. 

They’d had a whispered discussion of what was plaguing them. They’d hugged each other like they were each other’s teddy bears, each other’s lifelines. Eventually, they fell asleep again, peaceful. 

At some point in the night, the third boy had joined them. Roman never knew why, but when he woke up the next morning, Remus was curled up on the other side of him. When their fathers woke up, they didn’t say anything. They smiled at all of the boys, as if they seemed to understand what had brought each of them to their bed that night. 

Because of this memory, Roman knew that Ethan was a good father. He didn’t remember the emotional abuse Patton said he’d suffered at Ethan’s hand. He didn’t remember Ethan’s absence from their lives. But that fact would explain why he had no memory of his father at all, other than that one and everything his new fathers told him. 

He knew they were the ones who had left the other family. He wondered, sometimes, what would have happened if they’d stayed in that town. He wondered what his life would have been like if he’d taken his twin’s place in Ethan's new family. He wondered what kind of life his twin was living. 

Roman knew he was happy in his own life. He had two fathers that doted on him. They made sure he was happy. They encouraged his dreams. They hung his art on the fridge, bought him the Disney princess Halloween costumes he asked for a couple of the years (though he wondered, once he was older, if they were ever hesitant to, because of societal norms that said boys shouldn’t wear dresses). 

He didn’t hesitate at all to tell them, at about thirteen years of age, that he was gay. He knew they would accept him (for more than the obvious reason that they were also gay). He knew he would always have their support. Even if he messed up, as long as he tried to get himself out of the mess first, they would be there to get him out of it soon after. 

He was grateful for the life he had. He was grateful for his fathers. He wasn’t grateful for the event that had brought them to that point. He wasn’t grateful for hearing Patton’s crying those first nights because he missed his other sons and his ex-husband, especially since Roman had been doing his own. But he was grateful that Logan was there for both of them. He was grateful that Logan had them both start seeing a therapist. He was grateful to see Patton become stronger, to rise past the emotional abuse he had suffered, to become his own person. He was grateful to know that he was doing the same. He was grateful for his family. He wouldn’t change anything about it. 

*** 

Ethan told his sons his own truth of what happened between him and Patton. Virgil remembered most of what happened, but he didn’t dare dispute his father’s telling. He watched as Ethan filled Remus’ head with lies about Patton – that Patton hadn’t appreciated Ethan’s working hard to help the family, that he’d found comfort in the arms of another man, that he’d lied about “emotional abuse” to get his divorce request approved. 

But what right did Virgil have to tell Remus the opposite of what their father was telling him? What right did he have to dispute his father’s story? What right did he have to disrespect an authority figure in that way? And anyway, Virgil knew his father would just say he was remembering it wrong. But Virgil knew he remembered his fathers telling him and his brothers that they loved the boys, that they’d just fallen out of love with each other and it wouldn’t be good for the family for them to stay together. Virgil thought he might have remembered flashes of the time before Ethan began working all the time, when he’d helped Patton raise him, when he’d been a kind, loving father, not a vindictive, manipulative, lying man. Virgil thought he might have remembered how, a couple months after he’d gained two more brothers, Ethan began working. The boys never saw their father aside from when he’d taken days off, because he was always gone before they woke up and didn’t come back until after they were already asleep that night. 

Virgil knew that Remus and Roman wouldn’t remember this. Roman would remember whatever Patton was telling him (and Virgil hoped that Patton hadn’t also turned to manipulation and deception). Remus would remember these lies: all the false, vilifying claims Ethan planted in his head. He would never get to see Patton, hear his side of the story. 

Patton had left them. Virgil knew that part of his father’s story was true, at least. Patton had abandoned them. Emotional abuse or not, he’d completely cut off contact with two of his sons. Remus had to grow up knowing he had a twin, but never remembering or meeting that twin. Virgil had to grow up wondering if he’d ever had Patton’s love. 

Virgil had started seeing a child therapist soon after his fathers’ divorce. It had taken him a while to trust the man and open up. When he finally did, he told the therapist everything about the divorce. He told the therapist what he thought about it. What he thought about Patton. What he thought about Ethan. What he would’ve changed, had he been given the choice. Wonders about why he wasn’t given a choice. Why he didn’t notice his fathers had stopped loving each other. The odds of going from a physically abusive home to an emotionally abusive one (and whether he was referencing the emotional abuse Patton had claimed to suffer at the hands of Ethan or the emotional abuse he and Remus seemed to receive growing up, the therapist didn’t ask). 

Virgil didn’t remember much of his biological family, but he remembered the abuse. He remembered being ripped away from his parents, crying every night he spent in the system, waiting to be adopted. The hesitance he felt when he was first adopted. The love he’d felt both of his fathers give him. Remus and Roman’s introduction to the family. Logan’s heavier presence and Ethan’s lesser presence. How the first moment of that must have started the shift that led to this new life he was living. 

It wasn’t a bad life. As he got older, he was sure that Ethan didn’t mean to be emotionally abusive. Maybe he was raised in that kind of environment and he didn’t see anything wrong with his behavior. Maybe he had a problem with his mind just like Virgil had anxiety, so his mind justified his behavior. But anyway, at least Virgil never had to worry about physical abuse. 

Ethan was a good parent, when he wasn’t besmirching Patton’s name. He made sure the boys had everything they needed. He was around a lot more than he’d been before the divorce (though Virgil supposed that he had to be. Ethan never found a new boyfriend to take care of the kids. Virgil wondered if his father was right and Patton had finally married Logan). He rewarded them for good behavior. They were given allowance money for completing chores. They went to Disneyworld once a year. They were allowed to go to sleepovers with friends (though Remus did this more than Virgil. Virgil didn’t have any friends. He was too quiet and too shy. But he didn’t mind the isolation much. It would make things easier if his life were ever ripped apart again, and he needed to leave again). 

Virgil found a passion for drawing and painting, and Ethan always made sure Virgil had the materials he needed without asking. He was observant. He was kind and caring, understanding, when the situation called for it. Virgil was glad to have him as a father. He didn’t let the thought that maybe he would have liked living with Patton and Roman better cross his mind. 

He liked watching Remus grow up. He liked playing with him. He liked helping to shape the boy’s personality. 

They were a happy family. They didn’t need the family that had cut them out to be happy. They had each other, and that was enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I *promise* that Roman dressing as Disney princesses for some Halloweens has nothing to do with him being gay and everything to do with his love of Disney and a lack of Disney prince costumes.


	5. Chapter 5

A decade later. Virgil was eighteen years old. He had applied to numerous colleges with a plan to major in art (Ethan didn’t tell him that it wouldn’t likely be a lucrative profession, that he should be a lawyer or a doctor or something instead, that he wasn’t living up to his potential, or anything like that, and Virgil was grateful. He was glad to have his father’s support). A few of the colleges Virgil had applied to had accepted him, and he accepted the offer from a college in a town a couple hours away from home. He thought it was the best of the lot, but he was also nervous to leave his family. 

He told his father this, and his father, still always supportive, said that they could move to the town so Virgil could stay home. The commute would be cheaper and he’d be able to stay in his comfort zone, with his family. 

“What about Remus?” Virgil asked. “I can’t ask him to leave his high school and his friends and his supposed popularity, just because I’m scared of entering the adult world.” 

“You have every right to be scared, Vee,” Ethan responded. Virgil hadn’t forgotten that it was Patton who had given him this nickname. “Moving to a new town, going to a new school, especially for someone with anxiety, is frightening. It’s okay to be afraid. It’s okay to want nothing to change. Remus cares about you. He would want to support you in this, as well. Even if not, even if he claims I’m ruining his life-” (where had Virgil heard that phrase before?) “-he’ll see in time that everything will be alright. If he _is_ popular at his high school, I have no doubt he’ll be able to easily obtain his popularity again at a new high school.” Virgil still looked hesitant and anxious. “Would you like me to talk to him?” 

“Please?” 

So Ethan did. And a couple months later, he had found a job as an attorney at the town’s law firm (he knew he would have to start at the bottom of the judicial society’s ladder, but he was willing to make the sacrifice for his son). He’d found a three bed/two bath house for rent (so each boy would have their own room - which would be especially beneficial to Virgil as a college student). He’d enrolled Remus at the high school there. The family packed their belongings and said goodbye to the apartment they’d lived in together for a decade. 

*** 

Virgil and Remus began school on the same day that year. Ethan drove Remus to the high school, wishing him good luck, assuring him that he would enjoy it and that he would have plenty of friends before the day was over. Virgil simply waved. He was anxious about what would come next: his arrival at _his_ new school. 

When they got there, Virgil didn’t want to get out of the car. “It'll be okay, Virgil,” Ethan assured him. “You’ve made it through every other first day of school at a new school. You’ll make it through this one. I’ll be back to pick you up at 3:15. I’m just a phone call away if you need me sooner.” 

“What if you’re in the middle of a case?” Virgil asked. His voice shook with his anxiety. 

“I won’t get my first case for a while still. Have you been taking your medication?” 

“I don’t need it anymore.” 

“Virgil, I told you back in high school when you tried this that you can’t just quit it. You especially can’t quit it before events that make you anxious.” 

“I’ve been fine for a month.” 

“A month?” Ethan’s voice was loud, angry. Virgil shrunk in his seat. “I’m sorry, Vee.” Ethan’s voice was suddenly sympathetic, as if he’d suddenly flipped a switch in his brain that took him from naughty to nice. Virgil could understand how this might be seen by Patton as emotional abuse. “Why did you decide to stop?” 

“I don’t like to be dependent on medication. I knew I wouldn’t have anything over the break to make me anxious, and I thought after a month of being off my medication, my hormones would balance out. I know the medication gives me way extra whatever because I normally lack it, but I thought it was supposed to help balance it out. I thought I’d be mentally healthy when I started college and I’d show you that I didn’t need stupid pills anymore.” 

“Vee.” Ethan’s voice was gentle, as if Virgil were a child who needed something tough explained to him. How he might have sounded when he told his sons about him and Patton divorcing. 

Ethan leaned over to grab something from the glove compartment. A small, orange pill bottle. He shook out a pill and held it out to Virgil, palm up. “Take this,” he told his son. 

“I’ll be fine,” Virgil stubbornly insisted, though it really did look tempting. He didn’t want to be high-strung his entire first day of college. He didn’t want to worry about his voice potentially cracking when the teacher called his name from the roll sheet and he said “here.” He didn’t want to freeze up every time someone tapped him on the shoulder to ask him if the seat next to him was taken. 

“The extra hormones this pill gives you are what balances out your brain. It gives your brain all the hormones that you lack, restoring your brain to the perfect balance. This one pill isn’t going to help make you less anxious, Virgil. Your body will need another month to get used to this influx of hormones. You won’t feel any of the effects of this pill today. You should have listened to me last time when I told you that you can’t just stop taking these pills.” 

“I’m sorry.” Virgil’s voice was soft. He always tried to avoid conflict. He took the pill with a sip of his father’s coffee. 

“Virgil, you can’t just-” his father sputtered. The coffee would make him jittery, which wasn’t good when the anxiety pill wouldn’t have its calming effect on him. 

“Didn’t bring a water. Sorry, dad. Have a good day at work.” Virgil climbed out of the car, slung his backpack over one shoulder, then walked away from the car and his flabbergasted father. 

*** 

“You’ll never guess who was in my homeroom and my history class today,” Roman told his fathers at the dinner table that evening. He hadn’t taken a bite of his spaghetti and meatballs yet. He’d been buzzing with the news all day. Whether it was good or bad, he didn’t know, but he’d been itching to get home and tell his fathers. 

“Who?” Logan asked hesitantly, as Patton had already started chowing down his food and was in no position to speak with a meatball in his cheek. 

“Remus. Lee.” Roman paused between the words for dramatic effect. It worked. Patton choked on his meatball. Logan had to pat Patton’s back harshly as he coughed, then the meatball flew out of his mouth and onto his plate. “Gross.” Roman’s features temporarily shifted into a look of disgust. They changed back to eagerness once he continued the story. “I know. I was surprised, too. Because I know you said my twin’s name was Remus. I had to see if it was really him, or if someone else had decided to give their kid that unfortunate name. 

“I couldn’t find him in homeroom, but I saw him sitting in the back of the room in history. It was a little like looking into a funhouse mirror. He had a gray streak in his hair, and he lets his moustache grow out. It’s weird to think that I could have looked like that in a reality where Ethan raised me.” Roman hadn’t known Ethan long enough to consider him a father. Not when he had two fathers already: Logan and Patton. So he referred to his ex-adopted father by his name. 

“How did he seem like he was doing?” Patton couldn’t help but ask, his full attention on Roman instead of the meal. 

“I don’t know. Probably fine. I wasn’t about to go talk to him. What was I supposed to say, ‘Hey, my name’s Roman Sanders. I’m your twin brother from the family you don’t remember?’” 

“I guess not. I was just wondering.” Patton’s voice took on a sad tone. Logan grabbed his hand under the table. 

“I can try to let you know later on, but today was just the first day. For all I know, we could get partnered on a project. Maybe he’ll make friends with my friends or my friends’ friends. Maybe he’ll take part in the play.” Roman was in love with theatre. He auditioned for the fall play and the spring musical the previous year, and though he hadn’t landed very big roles in either, he was glad to be a part of the cast. He already planned to audition for this year’s fall play. There was a rumor going around his drama class that it was going to be a Disney musical – and that they’d still do another musical in the spring. He was excited. He loved Disney, and he loved musicals. 

“I don’t think that would be best,” Logan spoke up. “We’ve distanced ourselves from that family because of the terrible memories their presence might bring up. Your father needs to understand that he can’t be a part of Remus and Virgil’s lives. He can’t put himself at risk of falling victim to Ethan’s emotional abuse again. Besides, I can’t imagine Ethan raised the boys the same way we raised you. Without an attorney telling him not to vilify your father, I imagine he might have taken the chance to do exactly that. 

“If you can help it, Roman, I don’t want you getting involved with Remus. I don’t want you engaging him. If you get partnered up for a project or anything of that nature, you act civil. You keep him away from this house, but you don’t let him take you to his. Now that you’re older, Ethan may see no problem turning you against your father and I, as well. I don’t mean to vilify Ethan by telling you this. I promise I’m simply looking out for you. Can you promise me that you’ll try to do this for us?” Roman held up his pinky without a second thought. He and Patton still always made their promises this way. Logan lifted his own pinky, and the two curled them, signifying an “air loop” and the creation of their promise. “Thank you. Now, what else happened today?” 

Roman was delighted to tell the tale of the rest of his day, in a sort of dramatic monologue fashion. He used several hand gestures, changed voices to mimic friends or teachers. Patton loved watching his son perform, even if it was something as simple as the story of his day. 

*** 

"Roman is in my history class,” Remus told Virgil, also that night. They were both sat in Virgil’s room. Virgil had been half listening to Remus, half focused on reading a couple chapters from the book for his English class. But hearing that statement, specifically, caught Virgil’s attention. 

“Roman? As in your twin brother who lives with Patton, Roman?” Virgil asked, sticking a Post-It note in the book to mark his place. 

“Yeah. That one.” Why was Remus telling _him_ this? He didn’t usually confide in Virgil. Virgil knew Remus and their father were much more alike than _he_ and Remus were. 

“Why are you telling me this?” Virgil decided to ask. 

“I didn’t really want to tell our father and get another lecture about how that family is shit for abandoning us for no good reason.” Wasn’t Remus worried that their father might hear what he’d said, anyway? 

“You know that’s not what happened, right?” Virgil seemed to have absorbed some of Remus’ rashness. 

“Like you would remember. I bet you’ve blocked out every single bad moment in your life.” Remus sounded bitter, angry. _And_ this was another reason why they didn’t talk much anymore. He’d become a lot like their father. 

“Whatever. Let’s just go back to you even bringing this up in the first place. Why would I care?” 

“I suppose you wouldn’t. You’ve never really listened to what our father had to say about it. You’re so stubborn and ignorant.” 

“Will you leave my room if you’re just going to insult me? I’m trying to work, anyway.” 

“Fine.” Remus stood up from Virgil’s bed. “Maybe you’ll figure out later why I’ve decided to tell _you_ this and not our father.” Virgil knew his brother well enough that something instantly clicked. 

“What are you going to do?” Remus had antagonized his brother growing up, Virgil remembered. Never anything physical, just the same kind of insults Remus threw at Virgil, now, coupled with stealing away toys or knocking down block towers. But now they were older. Now, there was no telling what Remus, who had learned his father’s bitterness and resentment of that family, would do to that family’s son. 

“You’ll see.” 

“He had nothing to do with anything.” 

“So what? He’s a part of that family.” 

“Remus, please." 

“You’re not the boss of me, Virgil.” 

“You’ve just started at this school. You can’t get in trouble so soon. There’s not another high school here for you to transfer to if you fuck this up.” 

“Then we’ll move back home, away from that damn family.” 

“What about me?” 

“You’re a big boy now. You’ll learn to live without Daddy holding your hand every step of the way.” 

“Will you at least put a little more thought into it than whatever little you have so far?” 

“You don’t think I’ve thought this through? You don’t think I’ve had _years_ to think about what I’d do if him and I crossed paths?” 

“Have you even considered the consequences?” Virgil’s voice raised in his irritation. Remus was, really, the only person he had trouble avoiding conflict with. Remus was just so antagonistic and instigative, and Virgil always rose to the bait. 

“I get suspended and I don’t have to see his stupid face looking back at me?” 

“You share the same face.” 

“Or I get expelled,” Remus continued, brushing over Virgil’s remark, "and we have to move back home, and Dad never has to know that that family lives here.” 

“They’ll call Dad in to talk to the principal. The principal will tell him why you’ve been expelled. Hell, they might do that if you get suspended, too. You clearly haven’t thought about this at all, Remus. Don’t do this.” 

“You’re not the _boss_ of me, Virgil!” 

“Fine, whatever. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you when your big plan goes to shit.” Remus stormed out of Virgil’s room. Virgil was able to finish his reading, but he could only half focus on it. Now, he was worried about whatever Remus actually had in mind, that he was definitely going to do since Virgil didn’t want him to. That’s just the kind of person he was. Virgil sometimes wondered why he tried to reason with him anymore. There was no stopping him once he had his mind set on something. 

*** 

Virgil waited anxiously for a whole month before Remus finally made his move. During his last class of the day, Virgil had gotten a text from his father saying he’d have to find another way home, because he had to deal with his brother. Virgil knew then that whatever Remus had planned to do to Roman had happened. He knew Remus was going to be in huge trouble. He knew he’d have to wait until he got home to find out what it was. He didn’t know if he’d be able to make it through the last hour of his class with that at the back of his mind. 

Lucky for him, he was in college now. Teachers didn’t care if you left class early for no reason. The students were the one paying for their education, after all. It was their money they were throwing down the drain if they left. 

But it’s that thought that kept Virgil in his seat. He tried to take notes and listen to the lecture, but again, half of his mind was focused on something else. He was relieved when they were finally dismissed. Now, he just had to figure out how he’d get home. 

He had a few dollars he didn’t end up spending on lunch, but he didn’t know how much the bus fare was. He didn’t have any friends he could call up and ask for a ride home. He had no friends in that class that would notice him waiting for a ride that would never come. 

He was worrying himself silly. He could take the bus. He had money. The bus couldn’t possibly cost more than what he had. 

So, finally, he took the bus home. It smelled bad and there were multiple people and they were all talking at the same time, but as soon as Virgil put his headphones on and blasted some My Chemical Romance, all his worries went away. He watched the scenery fly by him, looking for a familiar landmark that would signify that he was near his house. 

He saw the high school, and he was half tempted to get off there and walk the rest of the way home. But what was five minutes by car was about three times that walking. And that was assuming Virgil didn’t get lost on the way there. 

He kept waiting and watching, finally taking notice of the corner store that was a few blocks away from his house. He didn’t know where the bus would go from there, so he pulled the line to request the stop. 

He got off the bus and walked the rest of the way home, noticing how the bus didn’t go in the same direction. He was right to have gotten off where he did. Now he just had to not get lost. He wondered if his father and Remus were home yet. 

His question was answered when he walked into the house, his father’s “What were you thinking?!” piercing through the music blaring through his headphones. He shut the music off, pushing his headphones off his head and onto his neck. He walked into the dining room, the eye of the storm. 

“This doesn’t concern you, Virgil,” his father told him when he noticed Virgil step into the room. Virgil walked through the dining room and into the kitchen and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge. He held it up as if to say, “This is all I’m here for. You can go back to whatever now.” He walked out of the room, and the angry yelling from his father continued once Virgil had closed the door to his room. 

He didn’t bother putting on his headphones to block out the noise. He started on his homework, half focused on that and half trying to listen in and figure out exactly what Remus had done to Roman. 

*** 

“I thought I told you not to engage him,” Logan accused Roman at dinner that night, Patton’s hand in his the only thing keeping his anger in check. 

“I didn’t!” Roman responded. “He came up to me! I was just leaving history to go to my locker. I guess he fucking-” 

“-Language,” Patton reprimanded kindly. Roman bowed his head in apology before continuing. 

“- _followed_ me there. The hallways were jam-packed, but he just stood there, watching over my shoulder as I put my books away. When I turned around, he shoved me into the lockers. He punched me. Over and over. And I’m a theatre kid. I don’t know how to fight for real. My punches weren’t landing. Do you really think I would’ve engaged him in a _fight_ , Father?” Roman used the more formal title for Logan, who was a more formal person, versus Patton, for whom he used the more affectionate title of “Dad.” 

“My apologies for jumping to conclusions, Roman,” Logan told his son. “Do you know why he engaged you, then?” 

“Maybe he’s just that kind of person. I’ve given him no reason to hate me. We haven’t talked _once_. I’ve kept away from him, just like you asked me to, just like I _pinky promised_ you I would. Do you think Ethan had anything to do with it?” 

“I doubt Ethan would encourage his son to physically fight you. I doubt he’d encourage Remus to risk suspension,” Patton responded. He’d been married to the man for years. He thought he knew him well enough. 

“Virgil, then.” 

“Virgil isn’t that kind of person, either.” 

“How do you know? You don't know how Ethan is raising them. Father thinks he’s poisoned them against you.” 

“And maybe he has. Maybe that’s why Remus attacked you. Maybe it has nothing to do with anyone but himself. Maybe he’s taken the lies his father has told him to heart, and now he’s taking it out on you,” Logan suggested. “That doesn’t change the fact that you’ve been suspended, too.” 

“But I didn’t _do_ anything!” 

“And I'll try to convince your principal of that, but I’m sure that Ethan will do the same for _his_ son.” 

“The hallway was packed. I’m sure I could find witnesses to testify on my behalf.” 

“And you don’t think Ethan will have his son do the same?” 

“Who’s going to stick up for a kid who’s only been at school a month? A kid who unabashedly punched another kid?” 

“Who’s going to stick up for a theatre geek?” Logan didn’t mean to be harsh, but it happened sometimes. Logic could be harsh. Reality was harsh. 

“I have _friends_! I can’t say the same for him.” 

“And if he does? Then it’s just a matter of which tale your principal decides to believe.” 

“But mine will be the truth!” 

“Your principal won’t know that.” Roman groaned. He knew this was his father trying to help him, but it was frustrating. He couldn’t believe he’d been suspended because his twin brother he didn’t remember decided to start a fight. Now he wouldn’t be able to audition for the fall play (which turned out to be Cinderella the Musical. He believed he would’ve been the perfect Prince. And now he’d never know, if he maintained this suspension). 

“So then we build a case. I’ll find witnesses. You have my statement. I can gather a couple more. You can present the fact that _I’m_ the one with a bloody nose and a black eye and that Remus suffered no damage.” 

“You’ve still been suspended for your participation in a fight. Remus has also been suspended.” 

“I know. That’s not the unjust part. The unjust part is that _I’ve_ been suspended for a fight I didn’t actually participate in. _I_ took all the punches.” 

“You just said you threw some and they didn’t land." 

“But you can omit that from my testimony. It makes me look bad. I’m your client. You do your best to make your client look good in front of the judge. A lie of omission can’t be detected in a court of law.” 

“But you acknowledge that it’s a lie.” 

“You’re not even actually taking this to court!” 

“You would’ve been a good lawyer, I think.” 

“Perhaps, but theatre has called out to my heart and I must heed it.” 

“Of course. Now how about we enjoy our dinner – which is probably cold by now – and worry more about this tomorrow?” 

“Fine.” Roman would have pouted if he were still five years old. Instead, he just ate his food, mind whirring with ways to make himself look good and have his suspension lifted so he could audition to play the part of the Prince in Cinderella. 

*** 

A week later found Logan and Ethan, along with Roman and Remus, in the high school principal’s office. Both men were lawyers, so the principal had the misfortune of serving as judge for the case of the boys’ suspension. 

Ethan made the claim that Remus should only have to serve a few weeks of detention for his actions. That he was having a hard time adjusting to the new town, new house, new school, and seeing a boy with his face – his twin brother who he never got to know – made transitioning even harder. He presented the fact that Remus hadn’t been suspended from his old school. That he’d been popular, liked by many. (Roman had to hold back a scoff at that.) He presented the fact that the divorce was a touchy subject for their family, quoting Virgil, who, when asked about it, said, “Everyone in the family – ours and theirs – has their own story to tell about what happened. We were the ones abandoned. It’s been a little harder for us to deal with. We don’t like to talk about it.” (Again, Roman had to hold back a scoff. Logan was tempted to make him step outside. If Roman let a scoff slip, he’d only make himself look worse.) 

There were no students testifying on Remus’ behalf. Ethan knew that any student asked would say that Remus instigated the fight, because that’s what had happened. He did his best to play the troubled child card, which in an actual court of law, might equate to pleading insanity. 

Logan, on the other hand, made the claim that Roman hadn’t instigated the fight and hadn’t even fought back. He was just as innocent as any of the bystanders, so he shouldn’t be punished. He had Roman repeat his telling of what happened. Roman, of course, was the perfect display for injuries obtained. While his nose was no longer bloody, he had photographic evidence of his injuries within a few hours of the event. Plus, his black eye was only halfway to healed. Remus appeared to be the picture of perfect health. 

Additionally, Logan had witness testimony from a couple of people who’d been in the hallway that day: a girl whose locker was a few down from Roman’s, who had witnessed the fight from the moment after Roman was pushed against the lockers, and the student who had helped Roman stand up, after Remus had stalked off, and took him to the nurse’s office. 

After evaluating all the evidence, the principal/judge had come to their decision. “Remus is guilty of the crime,” they began, “and for that, he will need to be punished. Considering that he has only attended our wonderful school for a month and I have not had the chance to accurately gauge his character, but also taking into account the severity of Roman’s injuries and the fact that Remus obtained none, I say that Remus be sentenced to detention. Three weeks with Mr. Panabaker for an hour.” To Ethan, that was a victory. That was all he really wanted. 

“As for Roman,” the principal continued, “I’ve had last year to gauge his character. He is a smart boy, very passionate about theatre. He has shown no inclination towards violence before – aside from that which one would find on a stage. The lack of injury on Remus indicates that he has not yet, either. 

“Typically, when we deal with students engaging in fights, both students receive the same punishment. But as Mr. Sanders brought up, this is the case only when both students participate. Participation being defined as throwing a punch.” 

“But he did!” Remus objected. 

“Silence!” Ethan hissed to his son. “Our part is done here. Don’t make things worse for yourself. If this was really so important for your principal to know, you should’ve objected earlier. That’s how a court of law works. You snooze, you _lose_.” The principal had continued detailing their thought process while Ethan lectured his son. By the time the lecture was over, the principal had made their final decree. 

“As a precaution against Roman instigating a fight against Remus next time, Roman will be sentenced to one week’s detention – including Saturday - with me, personally, for an hour,” they concluded. “Does everyone understand?” The two men and their sons nodded. “Good. Boys, I expect to see you in class on Monday. Roman, I expect to see you that afternoon.” Roman nodded again, again saying that he understood. 

Logan and Roman stood first. They walked out of the principal’s office first. Even though Roman hadn’t been suspended, he still seemed dejected. He waited until they were in Logan’s car – away from Remus and Ethan’s prying ears – before he explained why. 

“I still can’t audition for the school play,” Roman said, the statement finally bursting out of him, once Logan had pulled the car out of the parking lot. 

“You should have expected a lighter sentence only, Roman,” Logan told his son. “Not complete absolution.” 

“It would’ve been nice,” he grumbled. 

“Consider yourself lucky that you haven’t been suspended. If you really want to audition for that play, you’ll find a way.” 

“You have a way in mind.” Roman lit up at the thought. He knew that his statement was true; otherwise, he knew, Logan wouldn’t have made that point. 

“And you’ll have to figure out what that is. I know you can.” Roman groaned. He was silent, indignant, the rest of the ride home. 

*** 

"The _nerve_ of that man!” Ethan fumed at dinner that night. 

“You mean Logan,” Virgil spoke up, questioning, “defending his son as is any father’s right to do.” 

“Roman is _not_ his son. He is Patton’s, and he is mine. _Patton_ should have been in that room with me.” 

“Patton isn’t a lawyer. He wouldn’t have stood a chance against you.” 

“Exactly. But it would have been wonderful to see him try. To see him flounder. To see him weakly defend his son’s case. To lose. To _fail_.” Ethan’s voice took on a bitter edge. 

“That’s cruel.” 

“Do not forget, Virgil, that _he_ was cruel to _us_ , first.” 

“He didn’t abandon us. He loved us. All of us.” 

“You were so young when it happened.” Ethan’s voice was gentle, sympathetic. Virgil knew what he was going to say next before the words even left his lips. “You must be remembering it wrong. I know, as a child, you’d want to see the best in both of your fathers, but Virgil, you _must_ remember that he declined me visitation of Roman, he refused visitation rights for the two of you. He and Logan and Roman skipped town, forgetting about all of us. _He_ is the villain in this story.” Virgil regretted speaking up. Hadn’t he known this would happen? What had come over him? In order to avoid any more conflict, he decided to submit to his father’s will. 

“Of course. My apologies. I don’t know what came over me.” 

“I’m glad we can see eye-to-eye on this, Virgil. Now, where was I?” 

“You were imagining the look on Patton’s face if he failed,” Remus responded. He had been imagining the complete misery that would have overtaken Roman’s features at him being suspended while Remus, himself, only served a few weeks of detention. 

“Of course. It would have completely torn him apart. He would’ve deserved it.” Virgil didn’t dare bring up how it was pointless to keep a grudge over something that was really more his fault than Patton’s. The punishment _that_ surely would have granted him wasn’t at all worth risking. 

Virgil was the only one who wasn’t consumed by rage at what had happened years ago. He could only imagine how long _this_ fit of rage would last, considering Ethan’s initial rage had lasted a few months of bitter retellings, and his grudge was _still_ lasting. 

The thought that maybe he would’ve been better off here on his own flickered through his mind, before he was instantly filled with regret and shame. He _never_ would have made it here without his father’s support. A tense household was the sacrifice he’d have to make for that, he supposed. He resigned to it. He tuned back in to Remus and Ethan’s angry discussion about Patton, Logan, and Roman. 

*** 

This continued for another month, and at that point, Virgil decided he couldn’t take anymore. He couldn’t take the negativity. He couldn’t take the insults to the man he knew had fathered him once, had loved and cared about him and Remus and their father once. Maybe it was the child in him that wanted to keep the image of Patton in his mind a good one. Maybe it was that child that stubbornly refused to believe Ethan’s truth. But whatever it was, Virgil couldn’t handle the negativity anymore. His schoolwork and his anxiety were suffering with the stress of trying to juggle both, as well as worrying about whether his father might accidentally let encouragement of Remus antagonizing Roman slip and Remus gladly obliging. 

“I’m going to stay at school late to study for an exam I have tomorrow,” Virgil told his father before getting out of the car at the college that morning. A lie. One measly lie compared to the millions Ethan had told his sons over the years. “I can call you when I need you to come pick me up, or I can take the bus.” 

“If it’s dark out when you finish up, call me. Otherwise, text me when you’re packing up and I’ll let you know what I decide,” Ethan told his son. Their relationship was, admittedly, more strained since Virgil had spoken against him at the dinner table that night. Even if Virgil had eventually dropped out of the debate, Ethan knew he hadn’t really meant it. Virgil knew that his father knew that. But they didn’t address it. So all that remained was this tension between them, on top of the tension and anger already present in their household. 

Virgil was glad to get out of the car that morning. He focused one hundred percent on his classes, had a good lunch, and _did_ go to the library after his last class so he hadn’t told his father a complete lie. He sat under the roof, next to a wall, his backpack sitting at his side. He worked on his homework with his headphones on and music blasting. 

By the time Virgil had finished, most of the crowd had cleared from the campus. It was still light out, but the only people who would be there now were students taking nighttime classes (which started at 4:45) and faculty. He looked around to make sure that no one was paying attention to what he was doing. 

He pulled a thick book from his backpack, flipping open to a page bookmarked with a Post-It note. His finger slid down the page as he looked for one specific line on the page. A specific name. A specific number. 

Virgil found it near the bottom of the page. He took out his phone, shut off his music, and dialed the number. He heard the ringing of the phone through his headphones. He wondered if he would get an answer. He wondered what he would say if he did. He wondered what he would do if he didn’t. 

“Hello?” the person on the other line asked. _Shit_. Virgil almost threw his phone to the ground in a panic. “Hello?” Virgil knew he needed to say something. He pleaded with his mouth and brain to cooperate with him and with one another.

“Hi,” he said finally. 

“I’m sorry, who is this?” 

“That depends.” It had taken Virgil a moment to steel his courage, to put on an icy front. That was one thing he’d learned well form his father: how to switch personalities quickly. “Am I speaking to Logan Sanders?” 

“His son, actually. Roman Sanders. And you are?” Virgil almost panicked again. He hadn’t expected the telephone number in the book to lead to a landline. He didn’t expect to have to speak to the brother he hadn’t seen in years, the brother who wouldn’t remember him. “Hello?” 

“Sorry.” Was Virgil just supposed to tell him the truth? What would happen if he did? Did he want to find out? 

“Have you forgotten your name?” 

“No. Sorry. I- My name is Virgil. Virgil Lee. I wanted to speak with your father.” 

“Virgil Lee...” Roman’s tone of voice suggested that he recognized the name. “What business do you have with my father?” The recognition must not have lasted, Virgil thought. It stung a little, if he was being honest. 

“No, never mind. It doesn’t matter. I don’t know what I was expecting when I called.” He honestly didn’t. Had he been expecting a tearful reunion? Had he expected to be accepted into that family? Had he expected to ask to stay with that family over the phone? 

“If you’ve collected your thoughts by 6:30, let me know. My cell is...” Virgil found himself scribbling the number onto his Post-It note bookmark. He never had the chance to question why the kid gave him his cell phone number and not his father’s, before the kid hung up the phone. Maybe Roman _had_ recognized his name, after all. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've made it to the one chapter of texting fic. It should be simple enough to read, I hope. Reading the times isn't crucial, but there are a few small time skips in some of the sections. It should be easy to tell who's normal font and who's bolded font. When it switches from "[time] dialogue" to ""dialogue,"" this is when they are talking on the phone. The fonts still apply to their respective characters.
> 
> I hope I'm not forgetting to mention anything.

**[6:30pm] Hey, it’s Virgil Lee.**

[6:30pm] So you’ve come to a decision, then? 

**[6:31pm] I've decided I’d like to talk to you.**

[6:31pm] I’m flattered. 

[6:31pm] But I thought your business was with my father? 

**[6:32pm] I decided I have more important business with you.**

[6:32pm] Do tell. 

**[6:33pm] You recognized who I was.**

[6:33pm] I know your brother, anyway. 

[6:33pm] Remus Lee. 

[6:33pm] He certainly left a mark on me. 

**[6:34pm] If it’s any consolation, I advised him not to do it.**

[6:34pm] He told you he was going to ambush me and beat the shit out of me? 

**[6:35pm] He didn’t tell me exactly that, but he told me he was scheming against you.**

[6:36pm] Why? What did I do to him? 

**[6:36pm] It’s not what you did, but what our fathers did, I’m afraid.**

[6:36pm] Our fathers? 

[6:37pm] Oh, god. That’s right. 

[6:37pm] Remus Lee. 

[6:37pm] My twin brother. 

[6:37pm] Oh, god. 

[6:38pm] That means you’re... 

[6:38pm] How didn’t I realize it sooner? 

[6:39pm] You shouldn’t have tried to call my father, Virgil. 

**[6:39pm] Would he not have taken it well?**

[6:40pm] Father wants Dad and I to have nothing to do with your family. 

[6:41pm] I can’t imagine your father would have taken it well if our roles were reversed. 

**[6:41pm] No, definitely not.**

**[6:41pm] I suppose that’s kind of why I called, actually.**

**[6:42pm] To see how your family was different from mine.**

**[6:42pm] To see what my life might’ve been like there instead of here.**

[6:43pm] Is it so bad over there? 

**[6:43pm] Not that it’s any of your business, but lately, yes.**

[6:44pm] And you expected my father to tell you that we’re living in a fucking paradise over here? 

**[6:45pm] Well, are you?**

[6:45pm] Your brother beat the shit out of me, I’m serving a week’s detention, and I’m sure Father is considering us moving again, if you three are going to stay in town. 

**[6:46pm] I didn’t mean to ruin your life.**

[6:46pm] What does that mean? 

**[6:48pm] I’m going to the college here. I needed the support of my family so they came here with me. If I’d gone to college somewhere else, my brother wouldn’t have hit you, you guys wouldn’t have to move.**

[6:49pm] I never said we were. 

[6:49pm] Just that Father was considering it. 

**[6:50pm] He considered it last time, and you all actually did. It’s the reason my brother is the way he is.**

[6:51pm] He remembers that? 

**[6:51pm] Of course not.**

**[6:51pm] I can’t imagine you do.**

[6:51pm] No. 

[6:52pm] But if not him, and if not you, then... 

[6:52pm] Ethan? 

**[6:53pm] My father.**

**[6:53pm] Yeah.**

[6:54pm] He’s making us out to be the bad guys? 

**[6:54pm] Your fathers, anyway.**

**[6:55pm] And Remus figured the best way to get revenge would be to take it out on you.**

**[6:55pm] He figured he’d make Daddy proud.**

[6:56pm] And was he? 

**[6:57pm] He had to bail Remus out of a suspension and didn’t get to face off against Patton and destroy him like he would’ve liked.**

[6:57pm] He wants to destroy Dad? 

**[6:58pm] Not physically, like my brother did you.**

**[6:58pm] Just in a debate, I guess.**

**[6:58pm] I don’t know how he thinks.**

**[6:59pm] Remus is more his son than I am.**

[6:59pm] You think you would’ve been better here? 

**[7:00pm] Maybe.**

**[7:00pm] But I’m on anxiety meds here.**

**[7:00pm] And I’m in therapy.**

**[7:01pm] Father says Patton never would’ve provided that for me, and I clearly needed it.**

[7:01pm] Oh. 

**[7:01pm] Yeah.**

**[7:02pm] So that’s how it is over here.**

[7:02pm] Is this all you wanted to know? 

**[7:02pm] I guess so?**

**[7:03pm] I hadn’t expected to get this far.**

**[7:03pm] I wasn’t expecting to get to talk to you, of all people.**

**[7:04pm] I didn’t really think this through. Just grabbed the phonebook and shoved it in my backpack.**

[7:05pm] You didn’t tell your father you called us? 

**[7:05pm] You’re kidding, right?**

[7:05pm] I guess I am. 

[7:06pm] Would his reaction have been that bad? 

**[7:06pm] I’ve put the phonebook back in its place as if I’d never touched it.**

**[7:07pm] You’re saved in my phone as** **Princey** **.**

**[7:07pm] Would you like to take a guess?**

**[7:08pm] Would your fathers take it better than mine?**

[7:10pm] Dad might’ve. But Father would’ve been furious. Again, he didn’t want us to have anything to do with your family. As if even /you/ would be capable of dragging my father back into Ethan’s clutches. 

**[7:11pm] I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.**

[7:12pm] So what? You wish you could come here, then? 

[7:12pm] Maybe /that’s/ why you really called. 

[7:13pm] You thought my father might save you from the hell you appear to be living in. 

**[7:13pm] And now I know he wouldn’t have. Thanks for that, Roman.**

**[7:14pm] I suppose that means we’re done here, then.**

[7:15pm] Wait! 

**[7:15pm] What?**

[7:16pm] Can you call me? 

**[7:16pm] I’m sorry?**

[7:17pm] Would it be suspicious if you stepped out of your house, pressed the little phone icon, and called my number? 

**[7:18pm] I don’t have any friends. If my father asked, I wouldn’t know what to say if he asked who I was talking to.**

[7:19pm] A partner for a group project? 

**[7:19pm] I guess I could try.**

**[7:19pm] I just hate lying to him.**

[7:20pm] Like he hasn’t been lying to you and my twin brother? 

**[7:20pm] Fair enough. Give me a minute to step outside.**

**[7:21pm] Ready?**

[7:21pm] Ready. 

*** 

"Hello?” 

**“Why did I need to call you?”**

“It was too much to type out.” 

**“What was?”**

**“Is it even safe for you to be doing this?”**

“I have plenty of friends.” 

“Anyway.” 

“I have a plan.” 

**“Something in me tells me that that’s not a good thing.”**

[An offended gasp.] 

“It is _absolutely_ a good thing.” 

**“Fine then. What’s your** ** _brilliant_** **plan?”**

“Father would kill me for this, but what if I arranged a way for you to come over to my house?” 

**“How would** ** _I_** **arrange that?”**

“You’re an adult. You make your own decisions.” 

**“I don’t drive. It gives me too much anxiety.”**

“Oh. I suppose that puts a damper in the plan.” 

“I mean, I have my permit, but I would be murdered fifty times over if I broke the law to come pick _you_ , especially, up.” 

**“You’ll already get killed for having me over once you introduce me.”**

“Yes, but only like ten times over.” 

“And anyway, maybe they’ll be sympathetic when they hear your story.” 

“I know Dad would be, at least. Father can’t deny my Dad even one night with you. Not if Dad pulls all the stops.” 

**“Do you think he will?”**

“Our plan-” 

**“-** ** _Your_** **plan.”**

“-Kind of hinges on it.” 

**“And if not, then you get murdered, and I suppose my father will have to come pick me up because I can’t drive, and then** ** _I’ll_** **get murdered, and I never should have even started this, I never should have let you explain that you had a plan. My therapist always says to trust my gut and I didn’t, and-”**

“Woah. Are you alright? Are you hyperventilating?” 

**“I’ll be... fine.”**

**“You’re... bad for my anxiety, apparently.”**

“Sorry.” 

**“Your brother is... no better.”**

“Oh.” 

“Good to know?” 

**“If you can think of a better plan – one that doesn’t... involve us getting murdered – let me know.”**

**“I should go.”**

“Okay. Yeah.” 

“It’s been nice talking to you, Virgil.” 

**“You, too, Roman.”**

_[The line disconnected.]_

*** 

_Two days later..._

[6:30am] New plan: fake dating. 

**[7:00am] Try again. We’re related.**

[7:04am] Not really. Not by blood. 

**[7:08am] Your biological brother is my adoptive brother. Does that not make this weird at all to you?**

[7:10am] I don’t remember a time where we all were brothers. 

**[7:11am] Well, I do.**

**[7:11am] And you know my father talks about it a lot – only to sully Patton’s good name.**

**[7:12am] I can’t imagine your fathers don’t do the same.**

[7:14am] They don’t talk bad about your father. They say that they tell me the truth of what happened. They don’t let me talk shit about your family. 

**[7:15am] So you know that we were all brothers under one roof once, and you still suggested that idea?**

[7:16am] It could still work. 

**[7:17am] How?**

**[7:20am] I figured. I still say no, Roman.**

[7:20am] I was thinking! 

**[7:20am] /No/, Roman.**

[7:21am] Fine. I’ll think of something else. 

[7:21am] I’ll let you know. 

**[7:22am] Maybe /I/ should just come up with a plan. Yours so far appear to be abysmal.**

[7:22am] Ouch. 

[7:22am] But fine. 

[7:24am] If you think you can think of a better plan, then go for it. Just let me know what you come up with. 

**[7:25am] Of course.**

**[7:27am] Have a good day at school, Princey.**

[7:27am] You too, V. 

*** 

_Later that day..._

**[5:34pm] If you get a text from me asking who you are, do /not/ answer it.**

[5:35pm] What? What does that mean? 

**[5:36pm] It means I think my family is starting to get suspicious.**

[5:37pm] Why? We’re not texting a lot. 

**[5:38pm] Maybe not. But for me to claim I have no friends and to be texting someone at least once a day (that they know** **of)…**

[5:39pm] So what? You think they’re going to steal your phone? 

**[5:40pm] If I set it down for even a moment, Remus might come and scoop it up and snoop through it.**

**[5:41pm] My father is above that, but Remus is most certainly not.**

[5:42pm] What if I answer? 

**[5:44pm] Then I damn well hope you’ve thought through what your answer will be. I damn well hope you’ve thought through whatever plan you’ve cooked up.**

[5:45pm] Have they asked you about it? 

**[5:46pm] No. They expect me to be truthful in a house of lies and manipulation. My father expects me to be his perfect, obedient son.**

[5:46pm] And Remus? 

**[5:48pm] He’s chaotic. My father has never tried to reign him in. He hasn’t had to steer him in the right direction since he was younger. He completely manipulated him growing up, so he doesn’t have to continue to now.**

**[5:49pm] I’m a special case because I remember, because I have anxiety already messing with my mind.**

[5:50pm] Okay. I’ll be careful, then. 

**[5:50pm] Thank you.**

**[5:51pm] So, /have/ you thought of anything yet?**

[5:51pm] Still only the fake dating you’re opposed to. 

**[5:52pm] Even if I was okay with it, it would work right up to the moment you introduced me to your parents.**

**[5:53pm] They might ask us the same questions I asked you.**

**[5:53pm] It would just be weird.**

**[5:53pm] You need to think of something else.**

[5:54pm] I’m working on it. 

[5:54pm] I assume that means you’ve come up with nothing, either. 

**[5:55pm] Not yet.**

[5:55pm] Okay. 

**[5:55pm] I’ll let you know if/when I do.**

[5:56pm] And I’ll do the same. 

*** 

_The next day..._

**[1:07am] If Logan doesn’t want you engaging with my family, then why are you still texting me? Won’t he catch on? What if you get in trouble?**

[1:09am] Technically, he only said I shouldn’t engage your brother. He said nothing about you. 

**[1:10am] Maybe because you didn’t mention me. But if you had, I’m sure he would’ve said the same.**

**[1:12am] What if you /did/ mention me to him?**

**[1:14am] Just say you figured I must be with my father and brother, and what were you supposed to do if you ran into me at the grocery store or if I came to pick up my brother from class early or something because of a family emergency or something? Like, what would he think then?**

[1:16am] Why does it matter? 

**[1:19am] Because if he doesn’t want you getting involved with me, either, then I know I won’t be welcomed into your family. No matter how much I want to leave mine, no matter how much Patton would welcome me with open arms, I know Logan would have the final say.**

**[1:21am] It’s his number in the phone book, which means he makes the payments on your house, which means he has the final say as to what happens in it.**

[1:22am] What if we showed him you’re not as bad as the rest of your family? 

**[1:23am] How?**

**[1:25am] You have no idea, do you?**

**[1:27am] Roman?**

**[1:27am] Are you thinking, or did you fall asleep?**

**[1:29am] Okay. Goodnight, I guess.**

[6:30am] Good morning. 

**[7:00am] So you did fall asleep?**

[7:03am] Yeah. Sorry. 

**[7:05am] It’s fine.**

**[7:06am] Good morning to you, too, by the way.**

[7:07am] I’ll let you know if I think of something, okay, V? 

[7:08am] You deserve a better family than that. 

[7:09am] If I were the head of my household, I’d let you in without a second thought. 

**[7:10am] Because you pity me.**

[7:15am] Because you’re nothing like your brother. Because you shouldn’t be in a negative environment that constantly has you on edge. That can’t possibly be good for your anxiety. 

[7:16am] Maybe that’s what I can tell Father. 

**[7:19am] What? That I called your house in a moment of panic because I knew you were my family once and my currently family has become an unideal living environment?**

[7:21am] It might work. Since the moment they were finalizing the divorce papers, Father wanted what was best for all of us, including him and Dad. 

**[7:23am] But he can’t go back to court and file to change custody.**

[7:24am] You’re an adult. The original custody agreement no longer applies to you. You could just move out of your house and into ours, if Father gave the okay. I can try to talk to him. 

**[7:26am] What if it doesn’t work? What if he gets mad at you for still talking to me, for not hanging up the phone the moment I told you my name and you realized who I was?**

[7:27am] I’m still going to try. 

**[7:28am] I don’t want you getting in trouble for me.**

[7:28am] Maybe I won’t. 

**[7:29am] That’s not a risk I’m willing to take.**

**[7:29am] I have to go.**

[7:29am] It’s one that I am. 

[7:30am] Goodbye for now, V. 

*** 

_A few days later..._

[4:48pm] Has Ethan ever hit you? 

**[4:48pm] I’m sorry?**

[4:49pm] Like how your brother hit me in the face? 

**[4:49pm] My father isn’t physically abusive. Emotionally, I’m sure, but never physically.**

**[4:50pm] If Remus hit you again, I’m sorry. He learned physical violence on his own.**

[4:50pm] He hasn’t. But I’m sure he wants to. 

**[4:51pm] Father would kill him.**

**[4:52pm] But anyway, why did you ask me that?**

[4:52pm] I’ve been learning how to do injury makeup in my drama class. 

**[4:53pm] You’re telling me drama classes don’t just recite and analyze Shakespeare all day?**

[4:53pm] Nope. Not here. 

[4:54pm] But anyway, that gave me an idea. 

**[4:55pm] What? That you make me look like I got the shit beat out of me by my father, and I knew your family was in town so I looked your address up in the phonebook and fled to your house?**

[4:56pm] Yes. Is that a bad idea? 

**[4:57pm] It’s a flawed idea.**

[4:58pm] Would Remus ever hit you? 

**[4:59pm] You think your fathers would still be sympathetic to my case if my brother roughed me up? Brothers fight, you know.**

[5:00pm] But not to the extent I’d make you up. And not usually physically, right? 

**[5:02pm] Remus and I aren’t physical with each other. I generally try to avoid conflict. He just calls me names and annoys the hell out of me.**

[5:03pm] Do you think, if you made him angry enough, he might snap and hit you? 

**[5:04pm] If I pressed the issue of your family enough, he might. He keeps seething with anger that he can’t beat the shit out of your “stupid face” again.**

[5:05pm] We have the same face! 

**[5:06pm] I keep telling him that, but yours is stupid, apparently.**

**[5:07pm] My father has had to work later, so when it’s just Remus and I home, he rants to me about you. He** **fucking** **hates you.**

[5:08pm] And if you made a remark about how maybe /he’s/ the bad apple for wanting to pick a fight with someone who didn’t do anything? 

**[5:09pm] He’d say it was vengeance for our father, for what your fathers did to us.**

[5:10pm] And if you tried to tell him the truth? 

**[5:11pm] I have. He doesn’t believe it. He and Father think I’m remembering wrong. That an** **eight year** **old’s memory isn’t to be trusted.**

[5:14pm] And if you kept pushing the issue with Remus? Tell him that Daddy wouldn’t be happy if he got in a fight again? That nothing he could do would change what happened, that he can’t get revenge on my family? That he could beat me up all he’d like, but he’ll just keep getting in trouble and I’ll keep getting out of it, and my family won’t be affected otherwise? 

**[5:15pm] /Maybe/ he might snap enough to hit me.**

[5:16pm] Would you like to try it? 

**[5:16pm] You’re kidding me, right?**

[5:17pm] Maybe. 

[5:17pm] It would work for the plan. 

**[5:18pm] I thought the plan was theatre makeup?**

[5:19pm] Of course. But this story works, right? 

**[5:19pm] But would it work on your fathers?**

[5:22pm] They want what’s best for you, even if they haven’t seen you in a decade, I’m sure. I can’t imagine they’d allow you to live in a house where Remus is always at risk of blowing up and taking it out on you “again.” You’d have come to them, you’d have nowhere else to go, I don’t see why they /wouldn’t/ take you in. 

**[5:24pm] How would we meet up so you could do my makeup?**

**[5:24pm] Would you really be willing to redo it every morning for a couple weeks?**

[5:25pm] I’d have to go to the store to grab all the materials, but yes. 

[5:25pm] I’m willing to take any risks to get you out of that shitty house. 

**[5:26pm] How would we meet up?**

[5:26pm] I don’t know yet. 

[5:26pm] I’ll let you know when I do. 

**[5:27pm] Of course.**

*** 

_One week_ _later.._ _._

[1:47pm] Where are you right now? 

**[1:54pm] In class. Why?**

**[1:55pm] What are you thinking?**

**[1:56pm] Are /you/ not in class?**

[1:57pm] School got out early. My fathers won’t be home until six. 

**[2:03pm] So what? You want me to ditch** **class** **and come over?**

[2:04pm] I’d be able to do your makeup. I grabbed supplies from the store before I went home. 

**[2:09pm] And then what? I stay there until your parents get home?**

[2:10pm] Maybe not, if we do it now. 

**[2:15pm] I have class until 3:10.**

[2:15pm] Maybe not if we did it then, either. 

[2:16pm] Can you come over at 5:30? 

**[2:18pm] What would I tell my father?**

[2:19pm] Sleepover to work on a group project? 

[2:20pm] That gives you an excuse to not have dinner there, an excuse to pack a bag. 

**[2:24pm] And when no one comes to pick me up from the house and I just walk out and away?**

[2:25pm] Can you arrange to have someone pick you up and take you to my house? 

**[2:30pm] No friends, remember?**

[2:30pm] Seriously? You need some. 

**[2:33pm] I’ve never had any.**

[2:34pm] That’s fucking sad, V. 

[2:34pm] Is that your father’s fault? 

**[2:37pm] No. My own.**

**[2:38pm] I /really/ need to go,** **Princey** **.**

**[2:38pm] I’ll text you when I get out of class.**

[2:39pm] Okay. Have fun. 

**[3:12pm] I’m out now.**

[3:12pm] Finally! Call me? 

**[3:13pm] I have to take the bus home. N** **o phone calls allowed.**

[3:13pm] Then stay at school. Call me. 

**[3:14pm] I need to go home.**

[3:14pm] Later. Just call me. 

**[3:15pm] Fine. Let me go find a quiet place.**

**[3:17pm] Ready?**

[3:17pm] Ready. 

*** 

**"Are you always this stubborn?”**

“Yes.” 

“You’ll get used to it.” 

**“If you say so.”**

**“What was so important you couldn’t wait until I got home?”**

“Your brother’s probably home, too, by now.” 

**“So what?”**

“So I’ve concocted the plan.” 

**“Do tell.”**

“One of the upperclassmen owes me a favor.” 

**“For what?”**

“Doesn’t matter. What’s important is that they owe me a favor and I’m going to cash it in today.” 

**“Why? For what?”**

“To give you a ride to my house, of course.” 

“We’re going with the sleepover excuse.” 

“It’s Friday, so say the group project is due Monday, and you’re staying at your partner’s house all weekend for convenience - unless you finish up early, in which case, you’ll let him know that you’ll be back sooner than expected.” 

“Say their family will be feeding you dinner. That gets you out of dinner. That allows you to pack more things: school stuff, clothes, toiletries, snacks, whatever.” 

“My friend will be there to pick you up at 5:25, but text me your address so I can give it to them?” 

_[Text message sent and received.]_

“I got it. Okay. Forwarding it to them now.” 

“So anyway. They’ll be there to pick you up at 5:25. That'll get you here by 5:30, and that’ll give me half an hour to do your makeup.” 

**“But I can’t stay at your house, right? I have to show up at the door, looking like a fucking mess?”**

“That gives me _twenty-five_ minutes to do your makeup. That’s still plenty of time. Then you can just... I don’t know.” 

**“Where will I go? What kind of place would let me walk in with a suitcase behind me?”**

“Maybe I’ll call in another favor. You could stay with a friend who lives a few doors down. When it's 6:40, come to my house. Ring the doorbell. Interrupt our dinner. You can’t cry on command, can you?” 

**“Is that a thing people can do?”**

“I can’t teach you that in half an hour, unfortunately. Do your best. Maybe you’ll turn out to be a good actor.” 

**“Thanks for** ** _that_** **vote of confidence.”**

“Our plan hinges on your acting skills, V.” 

**“I’m aware.”**

**"** **So** **you’re going to call in two of your favors for me?”**

“Yes. Give me a moment to text my other friend. If they agree, I’ll text you their address.” 

**“Okay.”**

“Okay. They said they’ll do it. give me moment.” 

_[Text message sent and received.]_

**“Got it. Thanks.”**

**“Is that it?”**

“Do you remember the story for why your brother beat you bloody?” 

**“He was ranting about how your whole family is stupid. I insisted he wasn’t remembering things correctly, that our father’s version intentionally vilified your family, that he shouldn’t beat you up again. It wouldn’t make our father proud. He’d just get in more trouble. And for what? A stupid vengeance plot that wouldn’t actually cause your family any harm (except maybe your face would be bloody)?**

**“Anyway, the rage in my house – specifically his – had been mounting since that first incident, and I’d accidentally pushed him to the breaking point trying to reason with him. He punched me and didn’t stop for a long time. My father wasn’t home to stop him. He’s been working late, taking on more cases to prove himself in the municipal judicial system. If he’d heard what I was saying, he’d just try to convince me I was** **wrong** **again. I know I’m not wrong. I couldn’t keep pretending anymore.**

**“When Remus finally stopped hitting me, I fled. I knew your family was in town, and I had nowhere else to go, so I figured I’d try my luck. It isn’t mentally and physically healthy for me to stay in that house any longer. Can I stay at yours?”**

“Now just put some emotion into it. Really sell it.” 

**“I’ll try.”**

“Maybe the tears will come naturally that way.” 

**“Maybe I just have to work myself into a panic.”**

“If it works, try it.” 

**“I'll think about it.”**

“I’m glad we settled this.” 

**“Can we hang up so I can go home now?”**

“Yeah. Go home. See you later, V.” 

**“See you later,** **Princey** **.”**

_[The line disconnected.]_

*** 

**[6:25pm] When I get there, can you be the one to answer the door?**

**[6:25pm] I might freak out if one of your parents beats you to it.**

[6:26pm] Freak out is good. 

**[6:26pm] But not so much so that I forget my lines.**

[6:27pm] You sound like a true actor. That gives me confidence in you. 

**[6:27pm] Thanks. But anyway.**

**[6:28pm] Please?**

[6:28pm] I’ll try. 

**[6:28pm] Thank you. Enjoy your dinner. You'll know when I get there.**

[6:29pm] Try not to freak out and back out, V. 

[6:29pm] Stick to the script. 

**[6:30pm] Got it.**


	7. Chapter 7

Ten minutes later, Virgil walked down the block to Roman’s house, his suitcase rolling behind him. He’d been very careful not to mess up the makeup. He hoped he looked just as roughed up as he had when Roman originally showed him the finished project in his bathroom mirror. He hoped he could remember his lines and convey them effectively enough that he was granted permission to stay – at least for the weekend, but hopefully until he’d found a job and saved up enough to move into an apartment of his own. 

Virgil’s mind swam with "what if's," and he tried not to let his anxiety overwhelm him. He had to take a deep breath once he was standing on Roman’s front porch. He reminded himself of why he was there, how he needed to act, what he needed to say. He took another deep breath, schooling his face into a grimace of pain, coupled with sadness. He didn’t have a mirror to check how it looked. He hoped it looked good enough. 

He raised his fist and knocked on the door. He waited for an answer, hearing a muffled voice and the stepping of feet. The door opened. Virgil looked down at his feet – as if to hide the damage done to his face – meeting Roman’s eyes through his lashes. 

“Can I help you?” Roman asked. Virgil knew that they had to pretend not to know each other. He looked up, opened his mouth to speak. He knew he didn’t need to actually say anything. Roman’s dramatic, shocked, “Oh my god!” beat him to the punch. Virgil looked back down at his feet, and he heard - rather than saw - Patton and Logan come up to the door. 

“Roman,” Logan asked. “Who is this?” Roman didn’t answer. Now was Virgil’s turn to speak. He looked up at the boy and his fathers. 

“I didn’t know where else to go,” he said. His voice was soft. He tried to make it sound sad. He tried to make it sound like it hurt him to move his mouth muscles. 

“Lo, he needs help,” Patton said softly. To him, it didn’t matter who Virgil was. He was a boy who had been roughed up, who needed his wounds to be cleaned, maybe to be fed, maybe a place to stay - at least for a little while. He stepped aside. Once Roman and Logan (the latter doing so reluctantly) did the same, Virgil stepped inside. 

It was unfamiliar, and it almost overwhelmed him. The white walls, the smell of a homecooked meal, three concerned faces (all of which he recognized, but two of which that appeared older than he remembered). He focused on Roman’s face and tried not to panic. He could feel his regret at going through with this (a feeling spurred on by his panic) and the tears filling his eyes. 

Virgil stood in the family’s living room, the door having been closed behind him by Patton. He knew he needed to tell his story. “Please don’t make me go home again,” Virgil said. The sadness in his voice made him sound like a scared child. “I can’t go back there. But I didn’t know where else to go.” There was silence as Virgil gathered his thoughts and the family waited for him to continue speaking. 

“My name is Virgil,” he told them. “Virgil Lee.” He waited a moment for the fact of who he was to sink into Patton and Logan’s heads. Part of him waited to be literally kicked out of that house. When that didn’t happen, Virgil knew he’d been granted permission to keep explaining himself. They weren’t kicking him out just yet. 

“You know my father. I assume you know my brother. I remember you. I remember the divorce. I remember what really happened, even if my father likes to deny it and make you two out to be the villains. It's pointless to refute my father’s story, but I tried, one final time, to get Remus to see the truth. He wanted to come after Roman again. It obviously didn’t go well for me.” He met their eyes, so they all could see the full extent of the “damage Remus had caused him.” “He got angry. They’ve both been so angry since the incident. It became too detrimental to my mental health – to my anxiety – and now it’s appeared to become the same for my physical health. I knew I couldn’t stay there. 

“I don’t have any friends at college. I don't have a job, any savings, any way to rent myself a place to live. I knew you three lived in town, and I found your address in the phone book, and I guess this was my last and only hope. But if you don’t want me to stay, I’ll understand. I know my family has been unkind to you. 

“I could try to assure you all night and day that I’m not like them, but maybe your minds have already been made up. I understand. But I found the courage to try anyway.” He could feel a couple tears slip past his eyes. He took a deep, purposefully shaky breath, the only sound in the otherwise silence. No one had said anything. Virgil wondered if this was his cue to leave, or if Roman would step up to defend him. Maybe Patton. _Had he won his heart over?_

Nothing happened. Virgil looked between all three of them, and still, no one said anything. He took that as his cue to go. He turned around and opened the door. He said one last thing before taking a step: “I guess it really does hurt to try, to put your heart out on the line.” His foot crossed the threshold. 

“Wait!” Roman’s voice. Virgil didn’t take another step – one foot in the house and one foot out. He waited for Roman to plead his case. “Dad, you taught me to see the best in people. You were hurt by the divorce, but you still didn’t let me vilify my ex-father. Father, you taught me to think through situations logically. You taught me to find solutions that are the best for those who are important to me. 

“I may not remember Virgil being my brother, but in some ways, he still is. He remembers that past. His adoptive brother is my biological brother. I may not know who he is now, but I believe him when he says that he’s not like them. I think we should help him. 

“If I'm wrong, then fine, I’ll accept that. But he’s come here as a last resort - _beaten and bloody_ \- and I can’t help but be concerned for the older brother I never got to have. I’d like for us to help him. I'd like to think he would help me if our roles were reversed. _Please_ , dads.” There was silence again. Virgil assumed both silences must have been the fathers thinking it over. Virgil met Roman’s eye, quirking his plumped lip up into a hint of a smile of gratitude. He dropped it as soon as he noticed Logan’s attention on him. 

“How many days have you packed for?” Logan asked Virgil. 

“A weekend. No more, no less.” 

“That’s not at all enough time to find you a job.” This was said more to himself. He went back to thinking. Virgil hated the anticipation. It made his anxiety spike. “And you really have nowhere else to go?” Virgil grimaced as he shook his head. “And Patton would say you can’t go back to a home where you’re at risk of getting hurt...” Logan had begun his thinking out loud. Virgil hoped that was a good sign. “Does your father know you’re here?” 

“No. He thinks I’m at a sleepover for a group project this weekend.” 

“Then I suppose you can stay for the weekend. But after, you, Patton, and I will have to figure something out.” 

“Thank you.” 

“You’ll sleep in Roman’s room." Logan had brushed over Virgil’s remark, but Virgil just figured that was the kind of person he was. Especially while he was thinking, trying to solve a problem. “Roman will sleep on the couch.” 

“No, no. That’s not necessary. I’m intruding on your lives. I can take the couch.” 

“Will you be comfortable there?” Roman asked. 

“I’m sure I will be. Don’t worry about me. I’m grateful for any place to stay. Thank you again.” 

“Anything for family.” 

“He’s not really-” Logan stated. Patton grabbed his hand to get him to stop speaking. 

“Logan can put your things in Roman’s room,” Patton told Virgil. “Roman can help you clean up some of the blood. I’ll make you a plate. I hope you like chicken.” 

“Thank you.” The family split off. Logan took Virgil’s suitcase and rolled it into Roman’s room. Even if Virgil would be sleeping on the couch, a suitcase couldn’t stay in the living room, and Virgil couldn’t change clothes in the living room. Roman led Virgil to the bathroom, as if Virgil didn’t remember exactly how many steps it took to get to the door at the end of the hallway, having counted them while anxious earlier. 

Roman locked the bathroom door once they were both inside. He smiled, glad that his plan had worked. He gave Virgil a commending pat on the back before grabbing the materials to clean up some of the dried blood makeup. He dabbed at the spots, careful not to lessen the fake swelling and darker color of Virgil’s lip and eye. When he finished, he touched up a few places then allowed Virgil to look in the bathroom mirror. Virgil gave it a satisfied thumbs up. 

With that taken care of, Roman and Virgil left the bathroom. They sat at the dining room table. Logan sat on one end, and Patton sat on the other. Roman and Virgil sat across from one another. Virgil was sat between the fathers he never had (for most of his life, anyway). 

“So, Roman, you were telling us about your day,” Patton said after the boys had taken their seats, as if Virgil hadn’t interrupted their dinner. As if he was a part of the family, too. 

*** 

When the weekend was over, Virgil knew he’d have to go back to his father’s house. Logan had told him so. They would continue to accommodate him, he said, until they found Virgil a job and a place to live, but he would have to go to his house and grab more of his belongings. He would have to grab enough to live off of, without being caught by his family. Virgil wouldn’t tell them where he was going or how long he’d be gone (or the fact that he’d never be coming back). He would slip in and out, and they would just know, Logan said, that he’d run away from home. The logical man wondered (never expressing this aloud) if Ethan might figure out where Virgil had run off to, and what would happen if he did. 

They did not drop Virgil off at his house. He took the bus, just in case anyone was home. If they were, Virgil would explain that his partner had to run an errand and couldn’t drop him off. Virgil hoped that his own family was out running errands. 

When he walked along his street, towards his house, he noticed that his father’s car wasn’t in the driveway. He hoped that meant that he and Remus were out doing whatever, not that his father had to work and Remus was still at home, bored without Virgil to antagonize. 

He couldn’t look into any of the windows to see if his brother was inside without looking like a creep, so he had to steel his nerves as he walked up the driveway. He took a deep, calming breath as he fished his keys out of his suitcase. He unlocked and opened the door to the house he would be leaving for good. 

It didn’t sound like anyone was home, yet Virgil was instantly hit by the negativity. He supposed that, with him being gone, his father and Remus could go on all sorts of rants about that “insufferable, pathetic family.” He didn’t want to dwell on it. 

Just in case Remus was home and merely napping, Virgil walked quietly and stealthily past the door to his brother’s bedroom and to his own. Once he opened the door and stepped inside, he was hit with the familiarity of the room, the homeliness it filled him with. The peaceful moments he’d had in there on his own. It was almost enough to get him to back out of running away and go right back to giving in. 

He shook his head to snap himself out of it. He had a mission to focus on. He needed to pack more clothes. He could bring a few of his free-reading books. He wouldn’t be able to take any of his posters or figurines. He would miss them all. 

He packed his belongings sadly, suddenly hit by a tidal wave of sadness and nostalgia at leaving his home and his family. He held his figurines for a moment; he stared at his posters, laying on his bed, one final time. 

When he finished, he sent a text to Logan – who had given him his phone number specifically for this purpose. Virgil could keep it after, Logan said, but he shouldn’t plan to use it unless absolutely necessary. That was fine by Virgil. He kind of expected this no-nonsense attitude from Logan. 

Virgil walked out of the house, again quietly and stealthily, down to the corner store where the bus stop was. He texted Logan an update on his location. Now, all he had to do was wait to be picked up. Wait to hop into Logan’s car and into the next chapter of his life, away from his manipulative father and vengeful brother. 

*** 

Virgil had been living at the Sanders’ house for a week now. He’d grown used to the routine: 

Each morning, Logan would wake up Roman then Virgil at six-thirty. Roman and Virgil would take turns changing in Roman’s bedroom. Roman would touch up Virgil’s injury makeup, lessening the severity of the injuries over time. 

Patton, Logan, Roman, and Virgil would have breakfast as a family. Each day, they took turns preparing the meals. So far, Virgil had made scrambled eggs for breakfast and chicken pot pie (from a box, admittedly) for dinner one day, and French toast for breakfast and lasagna (again from a box) for dinner another day. 

Logan, Patton, and Roman would drop Virgil off at the bus stop near their house at seven-twenty, and Virgil would wait there for the bus. It was too risky for Logan and Patton to drop him off at the college. What if Ethan was dropping off Remus at school at the same time as Logan and Patton dropped off Roman, and they happened to catch a glimpse of Virgil in the car with them (because the high school was closer to both houses than the college)? 

Virgil’s school day would go the same as before his move to the Sanders’ house. After school, he would take the bus home. Again, this was not a deviation from his previous routine. He’d get home, do his homework, and be finished with it by dinnertime (unless it was his night to make dinner, in which case, some homework succeeded dinner, as well). 

At dinner each night, Patton would ask the boys how their day went. Roman would go first, with a dramatic retelling of each class period. He would use gestures, change voices. Virgil could see, in these tellings, the boy’s passion for acting. He hoped to still be around to see Roman as the Prince in his school’s play. Virgil, on the other hand, would answer Patton’s question with a “Fine, I guess,” and Patton had learned, over time, that Virgil wouldn’t be giving him any more than that. He was just as quiet as he’d been a decade ago. 

After dinner was chores, which was Logan’s domain. He had a day-by-day schedule on the fridge of who would be doing which chores. Virgil had washed dishes, mopped the floors, vacuumed the floors, taken out the trash, and mowed the lawn in the week (and weekend) he’d been there so far). He found he didn’t mind it. To him, it was like paying rent (because Roman was the only one who received an allowance for it). And anyway, Virgil had done chores at his old house, too. Some of them could be cathartic, especially with his headphones on. 

Lights out was at ten that night, but Virgil was allowed to stay up and do homework by candlelight until midnight, at the latest. Virgil had begged for that later time, but he never needed it. It turned out that if you didn’t have to spend your time worrying about what trouble your younger brother was cooking up, you got your homework done faster and easier. Who knew? 

It was peaceful. Virgil finally felt free from his anxiety (though he was still taking his medication. He didn’t know what he’d do when the prescription bottle went empty. His father had always taken care of it). There was an aura of love and positivity in the Sanders’ household that had never been present in the Lee’s household. Roman treated Virgil like a brother and Patton treated him like his son. Logan treated him like an adult (not a son, not a guest in the house, but somewhere in between), and Virgil just figured this was the man’s tough love. 

Logan helped Virgil look for a job. They had to find places that would accept buses as a source of transportation. It would have to be a business near the house. It couldn’t be customer service, because Virgil worried that the fast pace and rudeness of customers might make him cry, that the stress of it - coupled with the stress from school - might completely destroy him. That last factor made job searching especially hard. 

Virgil told Logan that he wanted to be an artist and he could sell his art online, but Logan told him that that might not be an effective business strategy. What if he got too busy to draw? What if he lost the motivation to draw? Not to mention the process of pricing, setting up an online shop, social media platforms, and an email address. Additionally, there was the fact that any business took a while to blow up. Virgil would be selling art to no one then one customer a month for a long time before business started booming and he became able to afford his own place. 

Patton and Roman didn’t give any suggestions of their own, because professionalism was also Logan’s domain. Logan told Virgil he could get him an internship at the law firm over the summer, but that was still a long time away. Had Virgil requested Federal Work Study on his financial aid application? (No.) 

The job search was, perhaps, Virgil’s only real stressor while living with the Sanders. But it wasn’t an overwhelming one. Logan was always careful not to heighten his anxiety to the point of a panic attack (though Logan assured him he knew how to deal with one, if the time came). The Lee’s house had been overwhelming and negative, and the Sanders’ house was easy-going and positive. He felt he was adjusting well to this change. He felt content. 

There was a part of Virgil that wondered when everything would blow up in flames, but he desperately tried to ignore it. When those worries manifested into a loud, angry banging on the front door during dinnertime another week later, however, they were impossible to ignore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does this count as a cliffhanger?
> 
> And I suppose the fact that the theatre makeup might smear in Virgil's sleep could be considered a plot hole. I just like to think that Logan isn't *really* dumb enough to fall for that, that he'd be able to see the lies among Virgil's truths, and that Patton would open his heart to all of his sons, no matter what.


	8. Chapter 8

Virgil froze in his seat. The rational part of his mind told him that there could be anyone on the other side of the door: a neighbor, angry about something, or a couple of Jehovah’s Witnesses looking to spread God’s message, who knew that loud knocking was guaranteed an answer 90% of the time. The anxious part of Virgil's mind, however, told him that Remus and Ethan had found him. They’d figured out he’d run away and they’d realized he wouldn’t be coming back of his own accord. Of course they wouldn’t let him just run off and stay away. 

Virgil knew it was only a matter of time before they figured out that he had only been texting one person every time he’d been texting someone, that he’d been lying to his father, that he decided to run off to the family that “abandoned” them. Now _Virgil_ had abandoned them. He could only imagine what kind of hell he would have to pay for that when they found him. He hoped he hadn’t also put the Sanders family – his new family – at risk. He hoped his father wasn’t on the other side of that door, ready to rip Virgil away from his new family, ready to let Remus run amok and cause chaos in the name of vengeance. 

Virgil had been so consumed by his worries that he hadn’t noticed Patton getting up from the table and walking to the door. He hadn’t heard the man’s footsteps; he hadn’t heard the door open. What he did hear was a spiteful, “Patton Sanders.” His father’s voice, filled to the brim with rage and the bitterness of a long-time grudge. “Where’s my son?” 

Vigil didn’t dare look over at his father. Even though Logan would have reprimanded him for this any other time, he put his hood up, hoping to conceal his facial features. He stared straight ahead at Roman, his fear clear on his face. As well as an apology. 

Virgil didn’t notice Logan stand up, but he was hyperaware of every noise and could hear the man’s footsteps head toward the door. “How can we help you, Ethan?” Logan asked calmly, as if he didn’t know exactly what the other man wanted. He must have been standing beside Patton. Virgil could imagine their hands locked together: the symbolization of their unity. 

“Where,” Ethan repeated, “is my son?” 

“You’ve never asked to see Roman before.” It had been the wrong thing to say. Virgil could sense his father’s anger bubbling over. One more wrong statement and all civility would be forgotten; he’d storm into the house and into the dining room and grab Virgil by his hood and pull him away with no regard for the hurt he might be causing his son. 

“You know-” Ethan was doing his best to keep his anger at bay. His voice was tight, “-that’s not who I mean.” Virgil imagined the tirade his father would go on that night about the nerve of Logan suggesting that he hadn’t tried to see Roman, that it had been _him_ who had packed up shop and fled town with Virgil and Remus in tow, cutting the others out. 

“Remus is standing right next to you.” Virgil could imagine his father’s face turning red. “Perhaps Virgil is still at school.” 

“Every night for two weeks? Try again. He had to have gone somewhere.” 

“And what makes you think he’d come here?” 

“He has no friends. He’s under the delusion that you are all good people. Maybe he came here as a last resort.” 

“Even if he had, what makes you think we’d allow any son of yours in this house after Remus’ display of violence towards our son?” 

“Who’s the guest you have over for dinner tonight, then?” Ethan didn’t sound at all apologetic for interrupting their meal. Virgil could feel his breathing quicken. He knew a panic attack was imminent. He didn’t have the self-control to stop it. He could only feel himself spiral. 

Roman stood up from the table. Virgil’s last link to stability was getting up and walking away. Virgil’s panic overtook him, silently. The only thing he could hear was a ringing in his ears and a flurry of negative thoughts and worries. His grip on the table tightened, his knuckles went white, the edge of the table pushed hard into his hands, but he felt none of it. 

He didn’t feel as Patton and Roman helped him stand up from his seat. He didn’t feel as they led him out of the dining room, needing to pass through half of the living room to get to the hallway. He heard his father’s stern, “Virgil!” and the boy was so lost in his panic that the only thing he could do was sink into himself further. He became like a dead weight. Patton and Roman almost had to drag him into Roman’s room. 

They sat him down on Roman’s bed and took a seat on either side of him. “Kiddo,” Patton said, his voice calm. “Can you hear me?” Virgil could, but he couldn’t nod his agreement. He felt paralyzed. “Just listen to my voice. Good. Excellent. Now take a deeeeeeeep breath. In for four counts. Now hold it. Seven counts. And ooooouuuuut for eight. Again.” Patton and Roman both did the breathing exercise with Virgil, holding his hands in theirs, providing him a tether back to reality. 

The breathing exercise shifted Virgil’s focus from the bad thoughts in his head to the reality of his breathing, to the thought of counting the specific set of numbers. It helped to calm him down. When he’d regained his composure, he looked at Roman and Patton in gratitude. They nodded in response. 

Patton got up from the bed. Roman made to follow, but Patton raised a hand, silently telling Roman to stay. Roman obliged, and the two boys watched Patton walk out of Roman’s room to rejoin Logan at the front door. 

Virgil didn’t dare speak. He worried that his father or Remus might hear his voice if he spoke. He worried they might decide to search every room in the house until they found him. He could feel himself starting to spiral again.

Roman grabbed Virgil’s hands tightly, forcefully keeping him in reality. “Hey,” Roman said softly. “It’s okay. They won’t let him come for you.” 

“He-” Virgil’s voice was quiet, scared, hesitant, “he can make them. He can demand they let him in or he’ll take them to court. He isn’t afraid of them. He isn’t afraid of letting Remus get his hands dirty on his behalf – if the situation calls for it – I'm sure.” 

“I thought you said-” 

“I know what I said. But my father is _beyond_ furious now. If he were physically abusive instead of emotionally abusive, he’d track me down and beat the shit out of me. Instead, he’ll use his power over words to make Patton like putty in his hands – all over again – no matter Logan’s protests. He’ll sweet-talk his way to me. He’ll sweet-talk me into going back, giving in like a good little boy. 

“If not today, then in a few days or in a week. But until that time, who knows what hell Remus will inflict on you? Who knows how my father might use his power over words and his reputation at the law firm to turn everyone against your fathers? I don’t want you guys to suffer because of me.” 

“You can’t go back. You’re family.” 

“Family looks out for each other. I’d be looking out for all of you by going back.” 

“You’d be sacrificing yourself.” 

“Sometimes, sacrifices need to be made.” 

“But not this. Please, V. We can find another way.” 

“He’ll take your family to court. The courtroom is his domain. It’s where his power over words – his manipulation and trickery – is strongest. Your fathers won once, but they won’t again. I won’t win in the battle I’ve locked myself in with him by coming here. So I might as well give up now, before things get any worse.” Virgil stood up, pulling his hands from Roman’s. 

“You can’t!” Roman's voice was louder now.

“I have to.” 

“No!” But Virgil wasn’t listening anymore. He pulled his hood off of his head before opening the door and walking out of Roman’s room. "V!" Roman wasn’t far behind Virgil, trying to pull him back into his room, into safety. But the strength of a fifteen-year-old theatre kid wasn’t greater than the strength of a determined eighteen-year-old. 

Virgil stepped into the living room. Ethan had pushed his way inside the house, Remus behind him. Patton and Logan stood at the center of the living room, a blockade to prevent them from going any further. But for how long? 

“What do you want?” Virgil asked his father, his voice breaking the silence and the stare-down between the families. Roman grabbed Virgil’s hand and stood beside him: his own display of unity with Virgil. Virgil was grateful for it. 

“Ah, Virgil,” his father said calmly, as if all his anger has been washed away. As if, in an instant, he became a concerned father. “There you are. Remus and I have been looking all over town for you. We were worried when you didn’t come home after the sleepover. Some of your stuff was missing from the house. We thought you might’ve been kidnapped.” No APB had gone out for him, though, he knew. 

“If you thought I’d been kidnapped, why didn’t you go to the police?” 

“Police are useless. They make foolhardy arrests and get no real work done. They’re as corrupt as any hotshot politician. I knew I’d do a better job than them of finding my son.” 

“And yet it took you a couple weeks.” 

“I was hoping you’d come back.” 

“To _that_ house?” If Virgil were a stronger, more bitter person, he would have laughed. “To the _deceit_ and abuse?” Virgil knew his father well enough to notice his slight flinch at the word “deceit.” Roman had told him the nickname his fathers had given Virgil’s a decade ago. Virgil had hoped it would sting. 

“I don’t know what you’re going on about, Virgil. I’ve been a wonderful father to you. I’ve told you only the truth about anything you’ve asked. I’ve provided all the art supplies you could’ve dreamed of. I’ve paid for your medication and for your college education.” 

“You told me I was remembering the divorce wrong. You’ve groomed me to avoid conflict, to submit to your will. You must be shocked at this deviation in my demeanor.” 

“A child’s memory is unreliable, Virgil. There is more than one side to every story, yes, but yours was altered by your youthfulness and innocence and misunderstanding of some things. I’ve only tried to get you to see the truth. I’ve tried to explain everything to you. You’ve refused to accept it. You’ve tried to poison your brother’s mind with lies.” 

“That’s what _you’ve_ been doing!” 

“That’s not true, Virgil. You can’t possibly tell me that I, your father, who has doted on and provided for your every need, is capable of lying. What reason would I have to lie to you? What good would that do me?” 

“ _You’ve_ poisoned Remus’ mind. His chaos and destruction is all in the name of the stupid grudge you hold over Patton and Logan and the divorce. It’s all for nothing. You may have provided for me, but a real father doesn’t manipulate to get his way.” 

“If I’d gotten my way, we wouldn’t be having this discussion.” Ethan’s voice had a hint of a growl to it. A hint of hysteria, almost. This was anger beyond what Virgil was familiar with. “If _I’d_ gotten _my_ way, we would’ve been a happy family and Logan wouldn’t be in your lives. _He’s_ the liar and manipulator. _I’m_ only a _victim_ wanting to right the wrongs done to me.” 

“And this is how you plan on doing it? Storming in here and trying to manipulate me into going back?” 

“I’d hoped we could have a civil discussion-” Ethan’s voice had turned sad, “-but Patton and Logan _refused_ to let me come in. I only wanted to talk to you. I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry. That I would fix whatever caused you to come here. If it was me, I would change. If it was Remus, he would change. We only want you to come back to us, Virgil. You’re our family. We love you.” 

“What if _I_ don’t love _you_ ? What if I feel more at home here than I _ever_ did with you and Remus?” 

“You can’t mean that, Vee. They’re not your family. They don’t know how to handle your anxiety. They don’t know where your therapist’s office is or the brand of your medication. They don’t know how you like your pancakes, what your major is. They don’t know that you don’t like a specific brand of paints, because when you were younger, Remus had stolen the tub of green, sat in it, got his bottom stuck in it, then sat on your favorite bedsheets once you’d pulled him out.” Everything his father said was true. It was almost enough to make Virgil think that he really cared, that he’d really noticed him, for all those years. That maybe he really did have Virgil’s best interests in mind and at heart, that it wouldn’t be so bad if he went back. 

He almost let go of Roman’s hand. But Roman’s hand tightened its grip, keeping Virgil tethered to his reality. It helped him to see the manipulation in his father’s words. It helped him remember how much his life had improved since he’d left Remus and their father. 

“They love me," Virgil told his father, Roman’s hand in his giving him strength. Roman’s hand in his a prime example of evidence for his statement. 

“They don’t love you,” Remus spoke up. His anger, too, appeared to have boiled over. He had a look on his face like he had something to say, something he’d wanted to say for a long time. He looked Virgil in the eyes. His next words were meant for Virgil to hear, but were aimed like a bullet at Patton’s heart, intended to hurt. “They never loved you. _Patton_ doesn’t love you. Not now, and not ten years ago. He didn’t love you; he didn’t love me; he didn’t love our father. He _abandoned_ us, because we meant _nothing_ to him. Because he’s _never_ loved us. And he’s not about to start now, because you showed up at his door with whatever _bullshit_ excuse you gave him for why you needed to run away. He doesn’t give a damn about any of us. He’s a shitty father.” Remus turned his gaze on Patton, eyes ablaze with rage. 

“You’re a _shitty_ father, Patton!” Remus repeated, his voice raised. He was angry, and he was hurt. He was saying what he had wanted to say for years, what he’d believed for years. He was finally letting go of all the hurt he’d felt. “You _abandoned_ us! You split up me and Roman when we had _never_ been apart before, because you didn’t care enough about me or Roman or Virgil or our father to try to keep our family together. You never loved any of us. You only loved Logan. _Maybe_ you loved Roman. But you sure as _hell_ never loved _me_!” 

“That’s not-” Patton began, his eyes filled with tears. He held Logan’s hand in a death grip. Patton wanted to object to his son’s claims. He wanted to assure Remus that that’s not what had happened. Maybe that’s what Ethan thought had happened, maybe that’s what Remus’ young mind had thought, and Ethan had taken advantage of that, but it wasn’t true. Patton had loved all of his kiddos. He’d loved Ethan. It had killed him to break apart their family, but he’d decided to put himself first. He’d tried to do what was best for all of them. 

“I don’t want to hear it,” Remus interrupted Patton, practically spitting out the words. “I don’t care what you have to say. I don’t want to hear whatever _lies_ you think will make me feel better. Nothing can erase a decade of hurt. Nothing can erase the fact that you’re a shitty father, that you never loved me, and that I fucking _hate_ you!” Remus’ voice had raised over the course of his last sentence. It was fueled by his rage and pain. Patton felt each word, and it broke him. He crumbled to the ground, and Logan gently went down with him, hugging him, consoling him. 

Roman, Virgil, Remus, and Ethan were all face-to-face. Remus' eyes were filled with rage. Roman had tears and rage in his own eyes, his hand pulled from Virgil’s, and both hands in fists at his sides. Virgil and Ethan were both blank slates. Ethan didn’t appear angry anymore, and he didn’t appear to be proud of Remus taking a stand and expressing what they had both thought for years. Virgil had expected a hint of a glimmer of joy in his father’s eyes at seeing Patton completely wrecked, sobbing on the floor, but there was none. There wasn’t any sadness, as if he loved Patton still and it hurt him to see the other man like this. There was nothing. And Virgil just felt numb, like he was separated from the nastiness that had just occurred in the Sanders’ living room. 

Ethan held out his hand in Virgil’s direction. “Come now, Virgil,” he said. “Let’s go home.” Again, the offer was tempting to Virgil. His family had caused this family so much misery in just this single confrontation, and Virgil knew there’d only be more of this if he stayed. Patton was a wrecked man again. Could Logan fix him again? And what about Roman? The words must have hurt him, too. It must have hurt him to hear the lies his twin brother had grown up with, to imagine that maybe, if their roles were reversed, he would’ve ended up the same way, could have been filled with that much hatred. 

Patton, and Logan looked up, interested in Virgil’s decision. Because they did care about him, regardless of what the boy’s family thought. They wanted what was best for him. They hoped he would put himself first, no matter the hurt that might come to the rest of them. 

Patton had been in a similar situation only ten years earlier. He’d had to decide whether to stay with Ethan and his lies and manipulation, or to divorce him, move away, and find a better life for himself. Virgil had the same choice now (minus the divorcing thing, of course). 

Would Virgil make the same sacrifice Patton had, damning the painful consequences that might befall the others? Or would he do the opposite, hurting himself so those he cared about could be happy? 

All of these thoughts were running through Virgil’s head. It was such a tough decision to make. He understood, now, why Patton did what he had. He’d had Logan to give him the strength to do it. He’d had Logan to support him afterwards. 

Virgil would have the Sanders family to support him if he stayed. But he’d just broken them. They’d continue to be broken as long as Virgil stayed with them, because his family was relentless. That wouldn’t be good for the Sanders family. That wouldn’t be good for Virgil. 

Everyone watched and waited as Virgil came to a decision. 

Finally, he stepped forward, crossing the distance to his father and taking his hand. 

**_~ • Fin • ~_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending really broke me when I first wrote it (and now again that I've proofread it, ouch). I know it *kind of* leaves things open for a sequel, and I'd be so down for writing one if anyone wanted that.
> 
> But I hope you enjoyed this whirlwind of a journey. I hope I stayed close enough to how Thomas Sanders and friends portray these characters in their series.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this work. <3

**Author's Note:**

> I'll try to post a chapter once every week, but I start college again next week, so we'll see what my schedule allows. This first chapter was the longest by far, because I didn't originally plan on breaking the work into chapters.


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